n I would like to commend Meredith Spencer on her accurate description of this generation’s “mating cycles,” (“The disparity between dating and drive-thru sex, Jan. 29, p. 7).
The concept of dating is almost foreign in today’s culture; however, that does not mean acceptance and complacency are the appropriate means to deal with it. “Hooking up,” as it is so cutely termed, is not a phase that one merely grows out of.
Dating is a teaching tool. The way you date teaches you how to treat and select your eventual mate. No wonder more marriages end in divorce. In the world of fast-food “hook ups,” who wants to be stuck in the same drive-thru line?
I would also like to praise her analogy of casual sex to fast food — quite an appropriate comparison. What differentiates fast food and a home-cooked meal? The effort, commitment and care contributed to each. The former is standard and lazily assembled. Nothing unique or special about it. I ask, is that how anyone wants to be thought of?
Or wouldn’t we much rather be thought of as special, interesting and cherished? Home cooked meals may take longer, but what can compare? Isn’t the extra effort worth the wait? Fast food is cheap and easy.
Spencer is right in that fast food is bad for you – so is casual sex. It’s demeaning to you and to your partner. I implore my peers to acquire, what is now also archaic: dignity. Don’t demean intimacy. Don’t cheapen it. It may be just me, but sex – the most intimate connection between two people – is not something I want compared to a Big Mac.
Sex shouldn’t be cheapened. Sex shouldn’t be instantly gratified either. Sex isn’t a convenience, it’s a privilege, a gift, even (when done correctly) a spiritual experience. Finally, Spencer makes another very astute point: What sort of relationship – if any – could result from a drunken hookup? Dating is meant to precede sex in order to insure that you know some basics about your partner before you’ve seen them naked. Call me old-fashioned, but I think you should know someone’s last name before you know what noises they make during an orgasm.
You don’t order a Big Mac without knowing what’s in it. The same should go for your sexual partners. Can you imagine happily telling your darling children that you met their daddy after downing five tequila shots? Or how Mommy was so enchanting with her feet over her head? Seriously, let’s think ahead.
Elizabeth Harris
CAS ’10
