Single? Friends may be the culprits

Boston University student Jackie Minahan said she did not live her freshman year of college to its fullest.
Minahan, a College of Arts and Sciences junior, said it was because, like other students her age, she was involved in a serious, long-term relationship at the time.
‘I had a serious boyfriend from home,’ Minahan said. ‘He would always want to know what I was doing. It’s hard to make friends when you’re the girl who’s always on the phone with her boyfriend.’
Students said they have discovered the effects of relationships on their social and academic lives as new college students.
‘You’re more likely to spend time at their apartment, less likely to do homework,’ Minahan said. ‘You’re always with them, and more likely to skip class if you sleep at their place.”
Friendships can actually prove to be more advantageous for students than relationships, Women Studies Program Co-Director Diane Balser said. ‘ ‘ ‘
‘What is more important is that students have a base of support for themselves,’ Balser said. ‘Stable bases of friends can provide the same support of a relationship.’
Staying single and exploring new options can have its bonuses, some students said.
College of General Studies freshman Jose Cota Jr. said that, as a freshman, he would rather play the field.
‘I want to be in a relationship eventually . . . but right now, definitely not, because I’ve got a lot going for me,’ he said.
Relationships in general can hamper the ability to make new friends, Cota said.’
‘If you feel secure in what you have, you don’t want to go out and meet other people,’ Cota said. ‘You’re content with just one person.’
Student Health Services Health Educator Beth Grampetro said friends are sometimes the driving factor behind students’ reasons for getting into relationships.
‘Certainly if you’re the only one who’s single or the only one who’s not in your circle, it can be difficult,’ she said.
However, Grampetro said she thinks most students are not focusing on finding a significant other in college.
‘With the average age of marriage having gone up to about 27 for men and 25 for women, it’s more likely that students feel their college years are a time to focus on themselves and their academics and careers, not on finding a partner,’ she said.
CAS freshman William Dubbs said that though a relationship with the right person can definitely be ‘a lot of fun,’ his love life definitely crosses into other aspects of his life.
‘I’ve missed class before due to a relationship,’ he said. ‘There are definitely side effects.’