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HAGEN: Summer in review

Fall is swiftly descending upon Boston. The air is getting cooler, the students are returning and BU girls will be soon be trading in their uniforms of jean skirts and sandals for the much more seasonal appropriate ensemble of jean skirts and Uggs. Summer seemed to simply fly by and it feels like just yesterday the class of 2010 was being expelled from BU's warm nurturing womb into their new cold and harsh jobless existence. Before we get too far into the season of pumpkin carving, apple picking and watching other university's football seasons, let's review a few events from the summer of 2010 one last time.

In May, one particular news item caused all of the single ladies of the world to let out a collective squeal so ear-shattering that it could only be matched by the sound a gaggle of girls makes when a bar mitzvah DJ exclaims he is about to spin some Bieber. That's right, Al Gore announced he is single. He may be trying to keep the world cool but he will definitely melt even the iciest of hearts.

On May 20 five paintings worth over 100 million euros were stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne in Paris. This story was of special interest to me because I began my own summer in Paris only a mere three days after the theft. On a completely unrelated note my StuVi apartment is now the proud of owner of a remarkably realistic-looking Picasso.

Beginning in June the World Cup brought the citizens of the globe together and caused American students abroad to suddenly have an undying allegiance to countries they know nothing about (Netherlands! I bleed orange!). I didn't really watch, but I think it is safe to assume that the United States won. Just as we do in all sports I am sure we really dominated the competition.

June was an interesting month for not just the jocks but also the nerds. NASA scientists discovered that Titan, one of Saturn's moons, has the necessary atmosphere to sustain life. I guess this is good news but is a non-hostile atmosphere really important for life? Life has managed to continue in Los Angeles somehow and not one report of smog-induced mutations yet!

On a more serious note, from June 25 to June 27 the G8 and the G20 summits were held and during this time the clear political and economic implications of...just kidding, this is soooo boring right?

In July it got hot. Like smelt-your-jeggings-to-your-legs hot (which you deserve anyway if you wear jeggings). In fact on the East coast this has been the hottest summer on record, which is obviously a direct cause of Mr. Gore neglecting his earth-saving duties to bring the heat.
In August The World Health Organization declared the H1N1 influenza pandemic over. This is a relief because for some time the WHO feared strains of the swine flu would mutate with strains of the avian flu creating a super hybrid-flu. Honestly, it was unlikely and probably would only happen when pigs fly.
This month also brought about serious déjà vu when Operation Iraqi Freedom was officially declared over. There wasn’t even a battleship and a grand banner emblazoned with “Mission Accomplished” this time! Fortunately, third time’s a charm so hopefully the government will get it right the next time they decide the Iraq war is over.
In the entertainment world, this summer was very kind to celebrities and a few really made the most of their vacations. Mel Gibson recorded some very “passionate” mix-tapes, which became a viral smash hit on the Internet. Lindsay Lohan spent a relaxing two weeks at the Century Regional Detention Facility and Spa. Montana Fishburne stepped out of the shadow of her famous father Lawrence, as well as all of her clothes, to become a film star in her own right. Wyclef Jean decided to throw his hat in the ring for the Haitian presidency but got tripped up by some pesky law that says you should be living in the country if you want to lead it. No eligibility, no cry.
According to Merriam-Webster the word of the summer is “refudiate.” Created by the great American stateswoman and future Macarthur genius grant recipient, Sarah Palin, it is the combination of refute and repudiate. These two words also mean the exact same thing so by combining them it makes what she is saying serious. Very serious. Therefore I hope everyone had a wondersome&-wonderful plus awesome, see what I did there? &-summer, and here’s to looking forward to Falltumn.
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