Thursday, April 17, 2014
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INTERROBANG

Petitions to secede from the U.S. have so far been filed on behalf of 23 states, according to The Washington Times. So we here at the ol’ Free Press were wondering why each school would secede from Boston University.

COM students would secede because of the math requirement.

CGS students would secede because of Capstone.

SMG students would secede because they can obtain jobs on their own.

CFA students would secede because they can’t smoke in the buildings.

ENG students would secede because the university forces them to interact with others.

BU Athletics would secede because athletes can no longer enroll in MET.

Dean Elmore wouldn’t secede. He would bring everyone together through an ice cream social.

The FreeP would secede because the university schedules classes before 3 p.m.

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