I have made some of my best friends on airplanes. Our friendships have always been short, only lasting until the end of our shared flight, and I admittedly can’t remember most of their names. But I always remember my friends’ stories.
There’s something about flying next to someone for hours on end that forges a connection. The combination of limited technology and uncomfortably close quarters seems to breed interesting conversation, but I think there’s another aspect to airplane friendships as well.
It can’t solely be due to close proximity or lack of (free) Internet that I spent hours solving crossword puzzles with that old man sitting next to me, or heard the life story of a young pilot on the way to California. What is it that makes many of us willing to share intimate details of our lives with strangers?
I think it has something to do with the destination — with the idea that everyone on a plane is going somewhere. It sounds obvious, but every end point has a story behind it. If you’re on your way home, then you find yourself telling a stranger about the trip you just took, why you took it, and who you were with during your stay. If you were traveling for business, you’re suddenly explaining the ins and outs of your job. With a path and a destination within sight, it becomes easier to explain your journey.
Why else would a young man covered in piercings and tattoos feel compelled to tell a 12-year-old me about his plans to visit his ex-wife and daughter once our flight landed? Why would he share his anxiety with someone he’d only known for 90 minutes — someone whose main interest was which movie she’d be seeing next weekend?
Because his destination was so close. In that moment, I was the only person who could witness his anticipation before he stepped off of our plane and into a much more complicated reality.
It’s for the same reason that I found myself listening to a Mormon woman carefully venting her worries on another plane a few years later. She had just finished her two-year mission, where she had minimal contact with her family and friends, and she was quite understandably nervous to be finally arriving home. I wouldn’t say that I have a particularly welcoming personality, so I’m going to blame this trend on the means of transportation.
In these situations, airplanes, in all of their claustrophobic glory, can be therapeutic. We’re always told to value the journey itself, and travel — as stressful as it may be — provides the perfect opportunity to do just that. Even as we look towards our destination, a friendly passenger lets us reflect on whatever passage we may be embarking on.
So, in light of the culmination of one round of holiday trips, with another one right around the corner, I’d suggest that we all forgo the headphones on a flight and instead listen to the people sitting next to us. Asking where someone is headed may lead to some fantastic friendships.
Jessica Depies is a freshman in the College of Communication. She can be reached at jdepies@bu.edu.
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