Columns, Opinion

RENNER: You can’t put a positive spin on death

Courtney Wagner is an 18-year-old girl from my hometown of Rochester, New York. Although we live in different suburbs — and are often rivals in sports — she’s managed to bring the entire city together. Courtney has been fighting brain cancer for four years now, and she’s about to lose.

In March, her story went viral through the power of social media. The hashtag #GetCourtneyToEllen was all over Twitter and Facebook, and Ellen DeGeneres noticed. Courtney was flown out to California to be in the audience for “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” — a dream come true. But it didn’t stop there. Towards the end of the show, Ellen surprised her with these words:

“We received countless tweets, emails and calls about our next guest,” Ellen said. “She is a fearless 17-year-old battling brain cancer. So Courtney Wagner come on down.”

The camera then pans to Courtney, who’s sitting in the audience in a blue “Ellen” zip up hoodie, with the biggest smile on her face. She takes a seat across from Ellen in the signature beige chair, and excitement shakes her voice when she speaks. Ellen keeps the conversation moving from social media, to clothes, to the tough stuff. Courtney smiles the whole time. It’s the kind of video that makes you really happy, and then really sad.

It’s tough to watch and read about her story. For the past four years, our local newspaper, The Democrat and Chronicle, has reported on all of her little victories, always with positivity and hope. At her high school, the girls’ basketball team honored Courtney by letting her put on the uniform she was forced to hang up after her diagnosis. A couple months later, she was the focus of a Rochester Razorsharks basketball game that offered free admission for anyone with a “get Courtney to Ellen” sign. There, she made the first two baskets of the game and the last two baskets of her life. Although somber, both of these stories focus Courtney’s strength and smile, and end on a high note. The D & C’s most recent article, however, is very different.

You can’t put a positive spin on death. No longer is Courtney in a blue jacket with excitement shaking her voice, or dribbling down the court with a crowd cheering her on. Today, she lies in bed with closed eyes. Her mom sits by her side, and a little machine beeps to fill the silence. You can’t put a positive spin on death.

The article is very short. It says that Courtney’s mom now wishes for people to share the love they’ve given Courtney over the past four years with “somebody else that needs it,” because “Courtney doesn’t anymore.” That line made my heart sink. It so blatantly ends an era of positivity and hope, and leaves nothingness in its place. I’ve never encountered something that so accurately instills the feeling of loss. At first I was mad that the paper would write this — that after years of jumping on every opportunity to write a heart-warming human interest piece on Courtney, it decided that she doesn’t matter anymore. And then I realized the reality of both death and news: you’re here one day and gone the next.

I can’t put a positive spin on this, but I can tell you to go give your daughter, mother, brother, sister, uncle or girlfriend a big hug.

UPDATE: Courtney Wagner died on Oct. 26, 2015, with her family by her side. 

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One Comment

  1. Your comment “…about to lose.” is extremely bothersome. She hasn’t lost; she’s won. She’s free of the pain and anguish that she suffered for four excruciatingly long years. It is sad and tragic for all. God bless everyone who’s ever had to deal with this monstrous disease.