Boston University’s student groups are preparing for the worst should the Allocations Board’s proposal pass, giving the Board almost full control of funds distribution.

The Board has also proposed new, complex rules and statutes to its Dungeons ‘ Dragons tournament, exclusive to the cliquey AB members.

“We had to qualify and explain lots of parts of this new process that we proposed,” said Level 8 Mage Soren Hessler.

Perhaps no group is more desperate for funds than the Student Union, which voted unanimously in an emergency meeting to relieve President Brooke Feldman of her duties, assigning her to the Red Line T station, where she will play guitar and beg for spare change to fund the Union. The move will have no effect on Union meetings.

“It is a great moment in the history of BU student leadership,” Feldman told The Daily Free Press before belting an acoustic version of “Killing Me Softly.” “It is a move toward true student empowerment at the university.”

Because it can no longer fund a planned study-abroad program to Tokyo, the Asian Studies Initiative at BU has relocated the program to the Super 88 past West Campus.

With no money to fund trips to underdeveloped U.S. cities, Alternative Spring Breaks coordinators working with Habitat for Humanity have decided to help out locally, offering to build new facilities for the dilapidated College of Fine Arts.

The Board’s proposal is also affecting BU Athletics, which has been forced to cut many of its athletes’ scholarships, grouping the remaining stars into one super team that will compete in all sports.

Last night, the starting Terriers’ hockey lineup — goalie John Curry, sprinter David Proctor, guard Carlos Strong, forward Aly Hinton and pitcher Brittany Detwiler — mauled the Boston College Eagles in a Beanpot preview.

“We weren’t trying to lose this game,” said assistant hockey coach Dennis Wolff. “We were trying to win this game.”