More than 200 pages of senseless drivel, composed over a period of four months, make up “Consumer Joe,” a work of humor by television writer Paul Davidson. From August 2001 to December 2001, Davidson wrote a series of facetious letters to America’s top corporations, asking questions like, “Why are Wendy’s burgers square?” and “Why can’t people auction off their internal organs on EBay?”
Either screenwriting jobs are seriously lacking or Davidson writes such heinously bad screenplays that he is in dire need of work, but either way, he clearly has way too much time on his hands.
Sadly, Davidson dedicated four months of his life to writing stupid letters under a false name and accosting corporations with ridiculous questions that they found themselves forced to answer out of courtesy. The result? Utter stupidity – more than 171 pages of this already-slim book aren’t even funny.
In some rare cases, Davidson does manage to either get a useful question answered or to harass a company that had it coming. After all, who hasn’t wanted to ask Starbucks execs, “Why is Starbucks so hell-bent on conquest? Why do they grow each year like an infection that cannot be stopped?”
Unfortunately, idiocy dominates the majority of the book. Why on earth would anyone write to Rubbermaid demanding that they replace a set of trashcans that were stolen by neighborhood brats? It’s pointless, as is Rubbermaid’s reply, informing Davidson that his product does not qualify for replacement under the Rubbermaid warranty guidelines.
It appears that corporate America has a sense of humor, though. The most delightful element of “Consumer Joe” is reading some of the exceedingly polite to downright cheeky responses that came from companies like Jamba Juice, Scrabble, Circle K, Best Buy and Marshmallow Fluff, to name a few.
As he announces in his preface, it was Mr. Davidson’s sole purpose to compile his letters and the responses he received in order to publish a book. Perhaps it’s his extreme calculation in preparing the collection that makes his humor seem contrived and entirely unamusing – under the craft of another author, the concept could have been a success.
In the end, all Davidson proves is that corporate America has a sense of humor and an amazing tolerance for the idiocy of the masses.