When I glanced up at the jumbotron during Friday’s hockey game against the University of Vermont, I was just hoping to find out The Wiggles were making a return trip to Agganis Arena. But instead, something very peculiar caught my eye.

The screen read that Boston University was hosting the World Championships of Indoor Rowing on Sunday. Wait a minute — indoor rowing???

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, so I figured it was a dream. Maybe I had been hit by a blazing Tom Morrow slapshot and knocked unconscious. Or perhaps I was having a life-changing moment as Kevin Costner did in Field of Dreams. Yes, that had to be it — the jumbotron was telling me that it was my destiny to be at that rowing championship.

I didn’t really know what to expect when I showed up at the competition (known as the CRASH-Bs — which stands for Charles River All Star Has-Beens). I imagined that the arena would be a giant lake, filled with people in canoes racing around in circles and speeding down log flumes.

The actual event was a bit different than that. There was no water or boats involved at all — just 200 of those rowing machines that you see people use at the gym. I’ve never tried one before because they’re one of the many things about FitRec that baffles me (such as why the day of the week determines which way you run around the track).

Through some investigative research, I discovered these machines have a real name — ergometers, or as everyone at the competition referred to them as, “ergs.” But still, I did not understand how people could race on machines that didn’t move. Was the winner the person who burned the most number of calories?

Actually, the way the race was judged was the most fascinating part of the event. The ergometers measured the speed and distance of all the racers, and the participants had a small picture of a boat next to their names on the jumbotron. The pictures moved across the big screen according to the competitors’ speed, letting the audience witness the electronic race to the finish line.

Some of the day’s most exciting races were decided less than a second. The CRASH-Bs had to be one of the coolest sporting events I’ve been to in a long time. It just blew my mind that there were play-by-play announcers, sideline reporters and unruly fans — all for a rowing contest without any boats. Thank goodness I didn’t give up the obscure pastime of watching indoor rowing for Lent.

But I think the sport can continue to grow. In fact, I see it becoming a multimillion dollar industry. Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero have both become insanely popular, so who’s to say a virtual rowing video game couldn’t sell big. The graphics would need a major upgrade from the ones used at Agganis, but I seriously think RowMania! could become the next gaming craze. (Yes, you have to pay me my royalties if you use that witty name.)

I certainly had a fun time at the competition, but it still wasn’t clear why I had received that divine message at the hockey game. How exactly were ergometers going to help me fulfill my destiny? Then, all of a sudden, everything made sense — my purpose in life was to become a championship rower. And not just any championship rower, but an indoor championship rower.

I left Agganis Arena excited to begin my preparation for next year’s races. Since RowMania! had yet to be developed, I was going to have to purchase my own erg and start training in my dorm room. Who cares about school, family, friends or The Daily Free Press — indoor rowing was my life now.

Well, at least it was for about five minutes. Then I checked the official website of the competition and learned there’s a ludicrous weight limit rule for all official races: Apparently, no one who weighs more than 165 pounds is capable of using a rowing machine. Come on, are the officials worried fat racers are going to sink the nonexistent boats? And I know that my column pic makes me look slim and sexy, but let’s just say it might require some work for me to get under that weight limit.

So thank you CRASH-Bs for trying to kill my dream, but I won’t go down that easily. I’m going to be in the 2008 competition no matter what it takes or how many pounds I have to drop.

And to my five loyal readers out there, feel free to come watch me train for the event at FitRec. I’ll be the rebel running the wrong way around the track and showing off my supreme erging skills day and night. Together, we can take over the magical world of indoor rowing.

Long live the dream.

Bennett Gavrish, a freshman in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at [email protected].