Mike Ross, hero to us all, is in the news again. This time, he’s championing the idea that his all-knowing, ever-bustling city government should require each and every Boston landlord to furnish his or her rental property with “crucial recycling access.”
First of all, I’d like to thank Mr. Ross for reminding me why Massachusetts is the laughing stock of American politics. Where else could our beloved, resumé-minded councilor get away with such government-as-panacea escapades?
Kudos, Mr. Ross. Accolades all around. Without your diligent questing for regulation, I would be unable to recycle. After all, my menacing landlord (the Lex Luther to your Superman) refuses to provide me with a recycling bin. And since he’s holding a gun to my head, I am unable to do anything about it!
Wait a second. My landlord isn’t holding a gun to my head at all! Hey, yeah, this is America! I guess if I really cared about recycling, I would be free to take it up with my landlord. And if that didn’t work, I suppose I would be free to move to one of the 40,000 recycler-friendly apartments in the city! And then my current landlord would be out of business! And we’d all be happy! And you could take the day off!
But, since this is Massachusetts, I’m sure your government-knows-best legislation will be a hit. Ultimately, my landlord will raise my rent in order to cover the cost of new recycling bins (ironic, seeing as you’re the poster child for affordable housing). And I will at long last be able to rest assured that Massachusetts liberals, like you, are ready and willing to wipe my nose, pat me on the head (or slap my wrist when I’m naughty) and have a big smile ready when the media shows up to take your picture.