Prepare the lifeboats. Strap on the vests. Have the seasickness bags ready. Because the water ahead looks rough for the Boston University Athletic Department.
As the 2003-04 athletic calendar comes to an end, the captain of the Case Center battleship will be stepping down.
Since 1989, Gary Strickler has been running the show – steady as a rock. In his time overseeing the 23 varsity sports, he has seen on one hand the football team be cut because of money reasons, while being able to stay long enough to see teams regularly enter their respective post-season tournaments. And even on a small budget, he has still been able to accomplish every goal imaginable.
He’s hired coaches like Nancy Feldman (NCAA Tournament berth in 2003 for women’s soccer), Liza Shoemaker (started this season among the top-15 teams in the country for women’s lacrosse) and Margaret Mckeon (BU’s first NCAA women’s basketball tournament bid in 2003).
It’s gotten so good in his 15 years as leader of the good ship that BU has won the coveted Stuart P. Haskell, Jr. Commissioner’s Cup (awarded for overall America East excellence within an athletic department) the past two years. Are you kidding me? In the America East? Six years ago, that seemed as likely as Al Roker leaving a buffet table. But times change.
And so do leaders.
As much as we might hate to do it, Strickler needed to be replaced in a timely fashion, and he will be when his replacement is announced at a press conference this afternoon. I mean, how in the world could such an important organization run itself without a true leader, such as a president or director? That’s just not possible, right?
To help expedite the process and get the athletic department back on calmer seas, I was thinking, couldn’t anyone be a candidate for the job? No. Replacing Strickler is like replacing Sammy Hagar as lead singer of Van Halen. So who could possibly take such a demanding job?
It could be Ed Carpenter. He’s talented, smart, extremely hard-working and the journalists here love him. But, alas, they already named him assistant to Mr. X (Congrats on that, Mr. Carpenter).
It could be Rhett. Who wouldn’t want everyone’s favorite basketball shorts-wearing, soccer ball-kicking, ice-skating Terrier running the whole department. I’ll tell you what, I’m sure the St. Joe’s Hawk will stop flapping his wings when AD Rhett gets through with him.
It could be Matt Turner. Think about it – an almost great player, who missed his chance because of an unfortunate injury, then came back and didn’t want to work that hard or listen to his coach? Of course, if this ever occurred, I’m sure that coach, Dennis Wolff, would be fired faster than Marion Jones on Red Bull.
How about Deirdre Enos? Remember her? Possibly the best women’s soccer player to ever play at Boston University? She could right the ship in a second with quick kicks, hard work and a women’s soccer budget that would suddenly resemble Donald Trump’s bank account.
We could put a (soon-to-be) ex-athlete at the helm? Katie Terhune could lead the way and chart a course for happier days when the women’s and men’s basketball teams won’t have to play in front of what has to be the worst cheerleading team in all of Division I.
Why not her coach, Margaret Mckeon, and her other half, Dennis Wolff, as co-athletic directors? We could have the two raving maniacs who lurk the sidelines at “The Roof” create extreme havoc amongst the other members of the department.
But, does the candidate have to be from Boston University? I know that’s what Strickler did, since he worked as an administrator at SMG prior to his ascension to leader of the Terrier fleet. Couldn’t it be somebody from outside our walls?
How about Dan Goldin? He was an administrator at NASA and nearly president of the whole darn university. Instead of letting him collect his multimillion-dollar paycheck for free, make him AD. But watch out – he’ll probably want the entire old regime to relinquish their spots in favor of him.
Could it be Todd Bertuzzi? He could teach the hockey team how to backcheck considering the defense this year had more holes than a screen door. And of course he has free time, for the next – you know – rest of his life. So, why not?
Seeing the new hike pushing tuition to around $40,000 a year now, we could maybe afford to purchase Pay-Rod, err, A-Rod’s services to do the job. But then, after four years of failure, he would probably ask to be let go and end up at BC.
Honestly, we do need someone from within the BU family who understands the nuances of Babcock Street.
If it ain’t broke, try something crazy and see if it still works.
So, why not Jack Parker as the new captain of the S.S. Terrier? Just let him run the whole show.
He pretty much already does.
Nikhil Bramhavar, a senior in Sargent College of Health and Rehabilitation Sciences, is a weekly sports columnist for The Daily Free Press.