On Saturday, my friend and I ventured around town for a day of shopping and relaxation. Or so we thought. After realizing we are morons for deciding to run the Boston Marathon, in less than two weeks, we figured we should drop a few bucks on a pair of running shorts and some weird carbohydrate goopy stuff that will supposedly help us complete our idiotic mission.

When we hopped on the T to head back to campus, we saw an empty seat and thought luck had finally come our way. Because the train was pretty filled, and my legs were tired from just thinking about the race all day, that empty seat called my name like one of those mirages of water canteens that cartoon characters see when they’re hyperventilating in the desert.

As I swung around the silver railing and flew toward the seat, I realized that it was already occupied. Not by a human being, though, but by the regurgitated meal of a sick human being.

This was disgusting. I couldn’t believe I almost sat in some weirdo’s vomit. More interesting, though, I couldn’t believe that not a soul warned me about it.

Sure, I should have probably recognized it myself. But my senses were blocked by my excitement to sit down. First of all, the T always smells, so the putrid aroma produced by the puddle didn’t really alarm me. Secondly, the brown fluid floating through the rubber cracks in the floor is not an uncommon sight; I figured someone just spilled coffee on the bumpy ride.

I mention this disgusting experience because I was blown away that the people around me didn’t warn me about the vomit. They merely told me I was the third person to almost sit in the puke-filled seat. They just sat there to see my reaction. I started to think about common situations in which people don’t warn others about something because they feel awkward. Or, after this experience made me realize, perhaps just to get a laugh out of it.

The situation I thought of is one in which a person you have just met has something stuck in his or her teeth. Around close friends, a large piece of food stuck in our teeth makes for an entertaining dinner. We even go so far to point, laugh and describe what the piece of food (often lettuce or spinach) looks like. I remember one time my friend looked like he was missing a tooth because of lettuce remains plastered on the top of on one of his canines. Good stuff.

When a stranger you are making pointless conversation with at the bus stop has something in his teeth, however, it becomes an awkward situation. But why? It’s just as funny, but you feel bad laughing about it because he will soon find out that you were laughing at him (once the piece of food naturally removes itself from the crevice in his teeth). Why not just tell him he has something in his teeth and save future humiliation for the poor guy? Because people enjoy telling the stories later. Or writing them in their weekly columns.

Another situation in which people become quiet and uncomfortable is when someone’s fly is open. Okay, this is a little more understandable, as the parts that distinguish whether we’re male or female are located in this area. I guess it can be a little awkward telling a people their zipper is down because that insinuates you were looking at their crotch, which makes you a pervert. Once again, though, if a friend’s fly is down, you tell him how silly he looks and review how long he’s have been walking around like that, and who he saw on his travels. The longer it’s been down, the better.

Then there is the problem that appears more often than it should: the exposure of the lower back. You know, the plumber’s crack thing. Because many people think they look like Gisele with pants that are too low and often too tight, you are pretty much guaranteed to see some major crack in most classes. You want the person to resolve the problem, because let’s face it, the image is probably making you distracted and all-together ill. But what do you say to them? “Excuse me, but your body is making me sick. Would you mind pulling your pants up where they belong? Have a spectacular day.” I don’t think that would work.

With friends, you can draw a picture of how funny they look sitting with their pants halfway down their legs, and then pass it to them. Then you can talk about it for the rest of the week. With not-so-close peers, however, this method will probably get you slapped.

I don’t know if these situations really need to be so awkward. They happen all the time, so we should probably just help a brother or sister out and get the foolishness of the moment out in the open. Or just wait to see other people’s reactions like I did after nearly sitting in regurgitated beans and rice.

Megan Murphy, a sophomore in the School of Education, is a columnist for The Daily Free Press. She can be reached at [email protected]