One time my friends and I built a fire. I was drunk and wanted to pour gasoline on the fire. Luckily, one of my friends stopped me. It would have been the worst decision in my life, but I also decided to come to Boston University. Oh, how I wish he had let me pour that gasoline.

I have been here four miserable semesters, and I have had many gripes with BU. However, Saturday was not only the straw that broke the camel’s back, but the straw that power-bombed the camel, castrated it and then crucified him upside down. You see, I love hockey and I love NHL playoff hockey, and the Detroit Red Wings are my favorite team. And today they played the Mighty Ducks and all week long I was wet with anticipation to watch this. So I had it all planned out to do so in The Towers lounge where they have cable.

My friend and I were there for a half hour before being thrown out by someone who ‘works’ at BU, saying the entire room was reserved for a tour group those people who walk around like they are lost tourists in Times Square asking stupid questions like ‘Are there sprinklers here?’ So we were thrown out of the room in the building that we all partly pay to maintain each year. You see, you and I pay for that, but BU can just decide to shut it off from us because they need it for their little money machine, I mean tour group.

My dear academic peers, please realize how ludicrous and insane this is. Following this line of logic, they can come into the dining hall and tell you not to eat because they need to show the tour group how much the food sucks, I mean how good it is here. Wow, good thing I came to BU. And by good I mean worst decision ever. Please tell me that I am not the only one who sees the problem with this. Please tell me someone else sees this as a great injustice. I’m serious; tell me I am right, somebody. I really think BU owes me an apology for depriving me of one of the few joys I have at this school. What do you think?

P.S. Don’t worry, BU I was drunk in another state. You don’t have to try and convict me for it.

Josh Eskow

CAS ’05