Forgive the brevity of this letter, but unlike the students who typically write letters to your publication (Ajay Gopalan, ‘SMG criticism unfair, asinine,’ April 15, pg. 10), I have homework to do. I am writing to address what I consider to be a grave injustice within the university: the fact that School of Management students are allowed to propagate the myth that their major is difficult. For far too long, my colleagues and I have been forced to listen to SMG students’ accounts of enormous memos and gigantic PowerPoint presentations while we slaved away at problem sets and lab write-ups. Forgive my naïveté, but I fail to see how arguing about a font on a PowerPoint slide for three hours is considered ‘work.’

It is with this injustice in mind that I issue a call to arms to the student body of Boston University (or at least those who are far enough along in their Introduction to Phonics course to understand the finer points of this letter). Next time your friends in SMG try to earn your pity with a story about how they had to wake up at 4 a.m. to reserve a meeting room online or how Chef Chang’s took forever to deliver their team’s dinner, simply say, ‘Goodness me, your major requires a large investment of money and/or time. Unfortunately, us [insert major here] majors are required to smoke lots of dope and watch cartoons all day, so I must be going now.’ Then punch them in the face. This simple yet effective tactic will quickly diffuse even the most ardent SMG advocate (Patty Bachorz, ‘Dedicated SMG students work hard,’ April 15, pg. 10).

Finally, for the SMG students who are reading this over a power lunch at Breadwinners, an executive summary:

Profit margins are declining as a result of excessive whining.