Laura Rubin, [email protected] Being a college student is full of challenges. We college kids are forced to make time for class work, a social life, extra-curricular activities, sleeping, and, of course, instant messaging; not to mention the fact that we also need time to call home and beg for money! Sounds impossible to do all of these things, right? Wrong. We just have to start slacking in one small area of our lives: cleanliness. That’s what some of us think, at least. Of course, when I say “some of us” I really mean “all the incredibly gross girls on my floor who make me want to throw up every time I walk into our bathroom.” Yes, you know the type. On my floor, there are at least two of these especially piggy slob-girls. I have identified them as the following: Girl #1: Lots-of-hair girl. This girl really needs to control herself when it comes to leaving hair all over the bathroom. Sometimes when I walk in there it looks like a cat exploded, miraculously leaving no guts but leaving lots and lots of hair. Of course, this hair is way longer and grosser than any cat’s hair would be, so maybe that’s a bad analogy. But this girl must have the same level consideration for others that a cat does, because HELLO YOU ARE GROSS! CLEAN IT UP! And by “clean it up” I do NOT mean that you should gather it together and put it ON the toilet seat. Like, maybe you could actually shove it IN the toilet a little and flush it? Is she trying to FLAUNT her grossness? I’ll stop, but really, I could go on for hours about this girl. Let’s move on to Girl #2: Wooo-let’s-pee-all-over-the-toilet-seat girl. This girl has got problems. I have never seen a toilet seat so completely covered in urine. I have reduced my wonderings about the logistics of it to 3 possible conclusions 1- She has 3 urinary tracts randomly dispersed about her underside, and she is forced to pee out of all of them simultaneously. 2- She gets two chairs, stands on them, and tries to see how much pee she can get into the toilet while standing 3 feet above it and doing some kind of butt-shaking hula dance. 3- she is a 4-year-old boy. Those are the two absolutely disgusting girls, but many other girls on this floor must be pretty gross and inconsiderate for the bathrooms to look the way they do. I almost don’t want to shower on Sundays. Of course, the problem isn’t limited to this building. I know that my friends Ryan and Matt in South Campus have the to deal with a rampant non-flusher, who apparently gets some sort of sick pleasure out of doing 1s and 2s in the toilet and then shutting the lid and walking away. I’m sure you, gentle reader, have also faced cleanliness problems of this sort. I’d just like you to be aware that if you’re not the one complaining about it, you’re probably the one doing it, so examine your habits today. Are you one of the gross ones? If you are, here’s some advice: I know you’re busy, but please take the time to make bathroom life a little more bearable for the rest of us. Heck, skip a class if you have to. It’s worth that much to me! Plus, you should watch out: if you continue this habit of nastiness, I may be forced to vomit on you some day.