Emma Hart
Maybe it is cliché or corny advice to tell someone to believe in themself, however, it is true that in order to accomplish your desires, you must trust your own abilities.
I have found myself time and time again stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage caused by a lack of self-confidence. Yet, comparing myself to others or doubting my abilities has only resulted in missed opportunities and poor performance.
This pattern began in my academics and athletics at a young age when I would try to prevent my nerves, but self-doubt only made me think about them more. I would go into games or tests with fear that I couldn’t shake because I cared so much about the outcome.
I noticed quickly I was only making the results worse.
It’s not simple to just get rid of these feelings, but I realized I could mask them with confidence to the best of my ability — you know, the fake it till you make it sort of thing.
Everyone has insecurities, but it’s a matter of how you let them affect your life. Once you realize this, you allow yourself to fulfill your potential.
As a college student, moving away from home, beginning your studies, meeting new people and trying new interests is intimidating. Oftentimes, what holds people back from getting the most out of their experience is fear — of failure, embarrassment or rejection.
Choosing to not get involved or not go after what you want does not leave you with better alternatives. Instead, you will be left with missed opportunities, relationships and experiences.
For a long time, I didn’t have the best outlook on moving away and going to college. I grew up in a small town with the same classmates and friends for most of my life. I enjoyed being by the beach and living at home with my parents and my dog. I never did well with change.
I always knew the day would come when I would have to leave and pursue what I had been working hard for in high school, but I painted it as an impending doom in my head. I would say how sad I was to leave my people and my town behind, but what I really meant is I was afraid.
Afraid to go to a big city school where I pictured myself showing up and feeling not nearly as intelligent or prepared as those around me. Afraid to live away from family and friends for the first time and of being so independent. All of these fears are normal, but I was allowing them to cloud my judgment.
I always dreamed of going to school in Boston, and I knew Boston University suited me well, so I finally allowed myself to feel excited about this next part of my life.
When I got to BU, I did my best to ignore the imposter syndrome in the back of my mind and embrace the experience of college instead. I became comfortable faster than I could have imagined and have been so lucky to meet amazing people.
Going to college is a significant new chapter in life, and it is easy to turn the small things into something big and scary in your head. It can be easy to convince yourself you can’t do things like speaking in a new class, joining a club or talking to someone you just met for the first time.
Pre-determined negative mindsets will set you up for failure. Your nerves are fueled by pessimistic thoughts which impact your performance.
Negativity also contributes to a lack of motivation, whereas positivity can motivate you to try harder. When you feel comfortable in what you are doing, you are more likely to work towards it. Plus, confidence only grows with repetition, and everyone has to start somewhere.
New experiences will always feel daunting, but they never remain that way. I once spoke to my dad when I was feeling anxious, and he told me to remind myself of all the matters in the past that used to intimidate me that are now part of my routine.
It’s easier to begin in a positive headspace or at least present yourself with courage — even if it is not how you truly feel. Success will follow promptly.
I still remind myself of these concepts as I continue to grow as a college student — for insecurity is only human. However, by pretending to feel confident, I have begun to believe it — and discovered there is no reason why I shouldn’t be.