More than once we’ve seen it. Some of us might even, for the slightest moment, have considered it. Others have already done it. It is as well-known as the act of asking for help from a magazine or newspaper advice column that presents the opportunity of having someone in whom to trust and receive advice from.
Suddenly, feeling secure that this person will provide us with those answers to love, friendship, betrayal, heartaches and major life decisions, we have submitted our inquiries to the master behind the pen, the one with all of the answers.
Yet, aren’t these questions about our lives? And, haven’t we been taught to live in a society where having control over one’s life and decisions is the optimal goal to living and not just existing? Why is it then, that more than once, we search for that one person we hope is the one that holds on to the perfect advice and the solutions to our problems?
The reality is that all human beings depend on one another, and this fact makes us consider others and their perspectives before we make a change in our lives. By making a small alteration in the course of our daily experiences, it affects those that surround us and have, at one point, been part of those occurrences.
If a girl changes her hairstyle from brown to pink and only considers the impact this will have on her life, then she is not evaluating the full extreme of how this can cause others to see her differently, how she might not be called back for a job after going to the interview with her new hairstyle and how members of the opposite sex might start to see her as “weird” or less attractive.
The life of one person touches the lives of so many. We are all individuals attached to dominant feelings of family, friendship and love. All those emotions create a string of significant people who help shape who we are today and the choices we make daily. Sometimes we view it as a responsibility to include others in what we do and ask them for help when there is a rock in the sea not allowing us to swim through.
Hence, the great value placed on friendships. All of us want to have that friend or group of friends to trust outside home and provide support and advice when most needed. When one begins to feel in doubt or start to question why it is important to continue living even when life presents one with several obstacles, true friends are able to provide those answers by reminding one of the great memories that have made them laugh and the accomplishments one has been able to achieve.
This connection builds up trust and reinforces the dependence we each have on one another. It is because of this, as well, that one includes their friends and others in their life story as a way to maintain familiarity and hope.
Although one might start to feel that asking for help from others, acquaintances or strangers, is the beginning to a sense of lost control over one’s life, it is important to consider that as an individual one is not able to live through everything that life has to offer.
It is through the insight others are able to provide one with due to having experienced those circumstances previously that a person is able to gain a bundle of guidance. The simple task of asking for advice still allows an individual to feel in control of making decisions since one is simply obtaining a different perspective that will lead to making a wiser choice rather than taking a premature step into the unknown.
It is with this thought that I leave you in control of whether you decide to seclude yourself from the group of people who receive advice daily from any source — friends, family members, magazines, books, televisions, etc. — or continue to join those of us who feel even more focused to where we want to go and what we want to achieve in life by asking others for a few words of advice and insight.
Cindy Cordova is a freshman in the College of Communication.