Over-valuing objects no joking matter

Regarding Denise Spellman’s Wednesday column (‘Even better than men: the real way to satisfy a woman,’ Nov. 6, pg. 11):

I’m sure Ms. Spellman’s intentions in writing this article were innocent simply trying to humor and entertain her readers. Yet Ms. Spellman’s account of her love affair with Jamba Juice smoothies touches a very sensitive issue. This issue is about the pervasive belief in our society that we can get complete emotional satisfaction from objects instead of people.

Society has indeed become obsessed with objects such as fashionable clothing, food, cell phones and computers, often forming relationships with these objects and thus replacing human relationships with such objects. Indeed, this is the picture that Ms. Spellman has painted, perhaps unintentionally, but no doubt influenced by the cultural beliefs surrounding her. Not only does a romantic relationship with Jamba Juice replace an authentic human relationship, but also dressing it up in humor normalizes this behavior.

There is a problem afflicting American society today when we create addictive relationships with objects, especially when those objects include food, cigarettes and alcohol. A romantic relationship with juice may be innocent enough, but what if the example were alcohol? Imagine reading an article where Ms. Spellman could not stop the ‘craving racing through her body no matter where she was on campus’ if the object was not juice, but alcohol. There would be no doubt that a problem existed indeed she would be labeled an alcoholic. Yet relationships with objects, or better yet, addictions are trivialized by using non-threatening items, such as juice, ultimately creating the message that addiction is normal.

This is a wrong and warped message that society conveys and is being internalized by adolescents and young adults. There is no doubt a generous percentage of college students here on our very own BU campus has an addictive relationships with alcohol. The idea that objects are more dependable and emotionally satisfying than a human being is plainly ridiculous. There is no substitute for a human life. There is no substitute for human companionship and intimacy. Granted, objects do satisfy a need but it is only a temporary satisfaction. That is why more of the object must be attained with increasing frequency. We are driven to objects on some level by feelings of emptiness and isolation; we seek closeness and intimacy, yet we avoid the one thing that provides such emotional satisfaction people.

Human relationships are increasingly viewed as negative. People can be cheap, cranky and demanding. People and relationships are seen to be in opposition to your way of life and thus perceived as unacceptable. Yes, this is true to some extent, but is it really so negative? A perfect match who is in complete agreement to your needs and wants is an ideal (and rather unsatisfying in my opinion). Disagreements and conflict are good things they can inspire thoughts and spark change.

Indeed, change is needed. It is time to focus on building worthwhile, rewarding and intimate friendships and relationships leave your objects on the store shelf.