Diamonds and Rust: Taking Not Taking Yourself Seriously, Seriously

Before I started writing this, I assumed that there would not be much literature on this subject, and that there would be a relatively definite consensus on which path is the better of the two. And boy was I wrong.

Seriousness, and the lack of it, is a quality which is omnipresent throughout human history. From stoicism to hedonism, the debate on how much is a healthy amount of seriousness has never quite been resolved.

As individuals, we tend to have a preference for one or the other, typically existing somewhere in the middle, but with a strong inclination toward one end of the spectrum. We either take ourselves way too seriously or not seriously enough, and we have that very typical human quality of assuming that whatever works best for us will work best for everyone else.

Of course, like almost everything, it seems as though living in a gray area is ideal, but where exactly should that be? Is there a one-size-fits-all answer to this, or must we all find out for ourselves?

At first glance, the answer seems more or less obvious: we are all humorless statues who need to loosen up. And to some degree, this is true. Not only is humor incredibly important for building relationships of all kinds, it also is one of the leading personality traits that employers look for in potential hirees. 

Humor itself may also have possible health benefits. As one study from 2007 found, “the act of laughter can lead to immediate increases in heart rate, respiratory rate, respiratory depth and oxygen consumption,” which is then followed by “a period of muscle relaxation, with a corresponding decrease in heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure.”

Not taking yourself too seriously is a way to open up to new people and engage them without fear of being ashamed or embarrassed. It can open doors to new relationships and opportunities, and can increase overall well-being immensely.

Unfortunately, like everything, not taking yourself too seriously has its drawbacks.

Not being too serious can and does quickly turn into not being serious enough. Within seriousness is a degree of ambition, and to lose all sense of seriousness would be to lose all hope in fulfilling a wish or dream.

Interestingly enough, despite the professional benefits of not taking yourself too seriously, many successful people actually argue for the opposite. Being serious means not only having ambition, but also not having any excuses.

Those who take themselves seriously have the ability to come up with an idea and execute it, while those who do not take themselves seriously tend to watch as others fulfill whatever idea they had originally come up with.

It seems once again that we find ourselves where we started. Not being serious works to improve well-being, but it also can kill ambition. Being serious can lead to success while also preventing healthy relationships. There is no clear answer, leading us to revert back to whatever default we had at first.

However, from a seemingly dark and depressing place, we may find hope.

The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines nihilism as “the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated.” Yeah, pretty dark. But to define nihilism as its seemingly most depressing component is to discount all that it has to offer.

As most angsty teenagers will point out, existence does not itself hold standalone value. Instead of fighting this inherent meaninglessness as most belief systems attempt, nihilism accepts it.

Importantly, nihilism is not the same as pessimism, cynicism or apathy. Nihilism is not a negative point of view, but rather an empty one.

So, what does nihilism have to do with seriousness, or well-being in general?

It is upon the empty nothing of nihilism that we can build a meaningful something. As described in this Kurzgesagt video, nihilism can be combined with optimism to create a life that holds meaning to you.

In other words, the lack of universal sincerity can be resolved by the creation of a personal seriousness. Living a life with ambition and meaning is still very much possible, but it can only truly be done if we acknowledge that this meaning is made serious only through our own volition.

Optimistic nihilism teaches us to approach life with sincerity, while remaining loose enough to find humor in the everyday.