Columns, Opinion

Dear Men (dear everyone): How do we navigate through the guilt we feel in 2020?

Our generation should be extremely proud of everything we have strived for. We have become more proactive than ever before to improve the space we live in, and we have learned to hold the people in our lives to higher standards.

At the same time, I noticed I have become more anxious than ever before. Am I a bad person if I don’t turn off the lights before going to sleep? Am I a bad person if I buy something from Amazon or listen to music from a problematic artist? What if I take a break from keeping up with the news?

Making mistakes can be incredibly disheartening — enough so to make me want to run for the hills and live in solitude.

Some people have called this feeling “burning out,” but I think it’s more than that. I’m not burning out. I’m being encompassed by this feeling, and one day, it might swallow me whole.

Amid everything else that goes on in our lives, we haven’t discussed how to handle burnout, but the conversation is long overdue. We should be delving deeper than the rehearsed responses such as “take a break from social media” or “try meditating,” which are very valid but hard to apply.

The problem stems from a lack of consensus regarding major social justice movements such as Black Lives Matter and climate change.

On one hand, some people will toss their garbage straight into the ocean when they’re done with it. But on the other, some people are vegan and keep a compost pile.

How do we navigate a world where everyone draws a line between right and wrong in different places?

We need to remind ourselves of the difference between social media and real life. Through social media, we strive for a perfection that is sometimes torturously unattainable. Looking at a phone screen can feel like zooming in on a singular puzzle piece and wondering why you can’t see the full picture. But our lives amount to more than the photos we post on social media. Read that again.

We should start giving ourselves more credit for the effort we put in rather than the mistakes we make. People don’t remember us for our mistakes, but rather how we react to them afterward. The “afterward” is the part we have control over and should prioritize.

To navigate this overwhelming feeling, we must confront the issues that make us feel bad. Guilt is “a self-conscious emotion, involving reflection on oneself,” according to Psychology Today. Feeling guilty is actually a healthy feeling — in moderation — because it means you cared enough to recognize your shortcomings.

So, now is not the time to turn the other cheek because we feel uncomfortable. I see the current changes happening in the country as good and important.

Furthermore, now is not the time to feed into the guilt everyone already bears. Excessive guilt and feeling stuck in the past can also be symptoms of depression, which I am certain many people are facing at this time.

Let’s focus on moving forward and trust we don’t always need to take large steps as long as they are in the right direction. We can make those steps by actively participating in democracy. We should remember we likely only reached the federal voting a few years ago, and while there is much change to be done, we have plenty of time to do it.

I have a feeling there’s a lot of excessive guilt going around during this time, so I encourage you to take care of yourself and take care of your friends. We all have made countless mistakes, but we’ll always have an “afterward” to act on.

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