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President Silbur Aims to Make BU Better

Silbur’s To-DO List while President of BU:

1. Do not allow Homosexuals into Private Organizations….just in case! Hey BU’s a Private School!! Sorry gays…

2. Realize that there are heterosexual men who rape women. Therefore, must get rid of all guys and make BU an all-girls school..just in case! Sorry guys…

3. Reconsider decision to make BU an all-girls school. Afterall, women have no purpose at BU but to turn guys on; and with no guys, they have no purpose at all! Therefore, dump the girls and bring back the guys…just in case! Sorry girls…

4. Disband the School of Theology. With it now being an all-boys school, there can’t be pedafile Priests running around… Therefore, dump all the Priests…just in case! Sorry Catholics…

5. Get rid of ROTC. Anyone with a shaved head might be a dangerous skin head…Therefore, dump the military…just in case! Sorry ROTC…

6. Do not admit anyone with dark skin and facial hair into BU-they might be terrorists…just in case! Sorry MiddleEast…

7. Do not admit anyone from Poland into BU-they might lower BU’s average SAT scores, ranking BU even lower in the nation…just in case! Sorry Polaks… 8. Allow only Jews into SMG and African Americans into CFA…Jews are only good with money and white boys have no rythm…just in case…Sorry Christians and Caucasions…

9. Give myself a raise. Therefore, make classes bigger and fire teachers! Sorry teachers…

10. Give myself an even bigger raise. Therefore, raise tuition and cut financial aid!Sorry students…

11. Smile and take a vacation…BU is now a better school…isn’t discrimination great…

The Above- what you get when you cross Silbur with Discrimination…. but hey, as long as Silbur’s happy…

Erika Watson, CAS 03

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