Sports

FADEM: Embracing the Tip-Off

What’s more entertaining than watching the Boston University hockey team light the lamp five times in one night? You’re right, Brian Strait learning the hard way that ice is slippery.
OK, well then, what’s more entertaining than watching the Terriers assistant captain eat it hard during introductions?
If you said Terrier Tip-Off (0.7 percent of those reading), then you are correct.
What the hell is Terrier Tip-Off?
Well, have you ever heard of Midnight Madness? It’s kind of a big deal in major basketball schools (those in the ACC, Big East, Big 12, SEC . . .). Traditionally, on the first day that the NCAA allows its men’s and women’s basketball teams to practice, schools hold festivities for that practice ‘-‘- most of the time at the first possible moment a team can start conditioning ‘-‘- at midnight. It’s a late night for players, coaches, staff and students, so BU has taken a slightly different approach.
Midnight Madness = Terrier Tip-Off = 8 p.m. start time = stupid.
Even in my junior year, I am just now about to lose my Madness V-card. Two years ago, an event like this didn’t exist at BU. Last year, I was out of town at my step-brother’s wedding. (No worries, I wore the hot dog suit on the altar to remind myself of what I was missing.) And this year, I’m actually going!
It’s only Tuesday, but it’s all I can think about. Sorry history midterm, you’re going to take a back seat ‘-‘- and a massive grade deflation ‘-‘- because all that’s running through my head is BU basketball.
The last time I saw BU basketball was March 16, when the women’s team lost the America East final to the University of Hartford. That’s a long time to go without watching basketball, especially with the bitter taste of a loss for almost six months. I’m getting a physical and emotional release with anticipation of the Friday night events.
This is exciting stuff. I got to throw out some suggestions to the athletic department for this year’s Terrier Tip-Off. I just want to share some of the ideas I gave to BU athletics that were shot down almost immediately.
1. Operation Dumbo Drop. In honor of the 13-year anniversary of this epic Danny Glover movie, I proposed a special twist on a dunk contest. Rather than getting creative, I thought there should just be a clear mission that each contestant must complete. Then, if need be, in Round 2 they could get stylistic. A simple proposal: Each participant in the dunk contest must jump over a baby elephant, then dunk. See, you’re slightly interested. Unfortunately, I overlooked the amount that baby elephants defecate and was informed that any stunt like this would put The Roof out of commission for about a month.
2. I say it every year, be it at a Midnight Madness event or at a game, but once again my dream won’t be realized ‘-‘- the BU dance team versus the BU cheer squad in the only fair form of competition: mud-wrestling. Think about it ‘-‘- this year the cheerleaders have two males on the team. How would the events of a mud-wrestling contest play out with two men and 30 dancers/cheerleaders? What would it all be like? What would be expected? The answer is just one word: hotness (if you take away the men). The minute I started to pitch a playful competition between cheerleaders and dance teamers and said ‘mud,’ I was cut off and rejected, much like I was at junior prom.
3. Both men and women’s teams enter Terrier Tip-Off in a choreographed dance routine of ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson, climaxing with Dennis Wolff jumping out of a coffin that would be wheeled onto center court. Everyone already knows who has the best dance moves on either team ‘-‘- Tunde Agboola. It would just be riveting watching how men, women, boys and girls work together to present a feast for the eyes ‘-‘- and a funny opening. However, the University of Maryland already did this, so it’s just not for BU.
4. A Dennis Wolff look-alike contest. Who would completely rid their body of hair and get pissed off for four hours straight to ensure a throbbing forehead blood vessel before the event even began? That prize should be worth a couple thousand dollars. However, athletics didn’t quite like the idea due to the risk of aneurysms and heart conditions.
5. Chicken sandwiches and some waffle fries, courtesy of John Holland ‘-‘- only because every time I watch the YouTube video ‘Unforgivable’ I believe JH23 lives in black and white and has an anger issue while dwelling in the middle of the woods. And he wants a chicken sandwich with some waffle fries . . . for free!
6. The choosing of an actual dog as the BU mascot. This wasn’t my idea, but it’s so good I can’t not mention it. Here’s the idea ‘-‘- Athletics ‘rents’ out four actual Boston Terriers. Line them all up at one end of the floor and then let them loose. The first one to get to the center-court logo is named the schools’ official mascot. It’s name is changed to Rhett and Dean Elmore gets to keep him/her in his humble abode with the responsibility of bringing it to every single sporting event. I guess we were asking for too much.
7. Pyrotechnics. I thought it would work until I realized The Roof is called that for a reason ‘-‘- the Roof’s roof is 2.5 Matt Killens high. We probably shouldn’t burn that mother down until Agganis Arena starts selling out non-stop.
Regardless of what won’t be there, it’s really a matter of what will be there ‘-‘- and there’s going to be a lot. Both men’s and women’s basketball teams, the dance team, the cheer squad, the drumline, a Lil’ Phunk performance. (Good thing there’s an ‘n’ in their name because they’re essentially a child dance team.) There will also be free T-shirts, a real dunk contest, 15 Terrier rewards points, free Qdoba from the Kenmore location afterward and much more.
All this will be there, but will you?
I hope you come because I am promising that this year BU basketball is going to be different. Be there from start to finish, because if the fans make it happen, the basketball teams will, too.

Brian Fadem, a junior in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. He can be reached at [email protected] For more of Brian, visit thehotdogandjesus.blogspot.com.

One Comment

  1. Like the sun rising, you can count on a shi**y column from Brian Fadem. Is there ever a point to a Fadem column?