REMMERT: Let’s get poptimistic!

The final column! The coup de gras! The moment when the Eternal Poptimist reveals that he is something of much greater power, a being so sinister that he could destroy the world in a second but doesn’t because he loves The Hold Steady too much! My defining moment! My ‘Yankee Hotel Foxtrot’ (but without all the band turmoil)! Will there be a twist? Will I suddenly reveal a) that I am turning away from pop and going on ‘that classical s—,’ a la Lil Wayne in ‘Da Drought 3,’ b) that I am one of Thom Yorke’s godsons or c) that my Tesla coil actually <> duplicate a human being?

Sorry about that last part. I watched ‘The Prestige’ last night and I can’t get David Bowie out of my head. I mean, the guy’s music is lame, but damn, he’s a good actor! ‘

Well, if you haven’t already noticed, I’ve now wasted half of my bonus 300 words that the editors of this fine publication gave to me, and I’ve also colossally wasted most of your time this semester. I mean, Green Day? Really? What was I thinking? And that morning-after mixtape? Looking back on the column, it needed a more female perspective.

Anyway, I realize that throughout this semester I’ve sort of betrayed you, the few of you that have read my column. I claim to be ‘The Eternal Poptimist,’ yet I’ve spent most of my time criticizing bad music (even though it needs criticizing). So for those that want a lighter perspective, this column is not going to be about how awful — <> — the new Black Eyed Peas song is. Instead, it’s going to be about some moments I can share with you that <> Eternally Poptimistic.

‘ ‘ ‘ 1. I’m not a big fan of cross-promotion, especially when it comes from musicians copping their songs on nationally televised broadcasts (re: Green Day column). I am also not the biggest fan of The Fray (they’re a ripoff of Coldplay, who are a ripoff of Travis, who are a ripoff of early Radiohead). But when my favorite TV show (‘Lost’) called up the Colorado band to promote their incredible fifth season, I was pretty damn impressed with how well ‘You Found Me’ fit in with the *spoiler alert* disappearing island. Plus, it’s a damn good song (the hint to enjoying is not paying attention to the crappy lyrics). Best Coldplay song I’ve heard in years.

‘ ‘ ‘ 2. A man named K’NAAN. For those confused, find me, Max Levy or a copy of ‘Troubadour’ and listen.

‘ ‘ ‘ 3. Canadians are single-handedly making rock music fun. Acts like Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire and Los Campesinos! (yes, the ‘!’ is in the name) are reminding everyone why rock isn’t necessarily dead yet; it just has to accept the fact that indie is never going to go away. Between Arcade Fire’s impeccable new DVD ‘Miroir Noir’ and the rumors of a new Broken Social Scene disc on the horizon, there is plenty to thank Canada for in the pop realm.

‘ ‘ ‘ 4. Four words: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Seriously.

‘ ‘ ‘ 5. Bruce Springsteen wants you to go see the E Street Band. While I missed (painfully) his two-day stay at TD Banknorth, I have it on good authority (re: my mom) that he has brought the house down at every date he’s been to so far. So those of you who have a ticket to an upcoming date or are going to Bonnaroo, bring a tissue. Bruce Springsteen will make you weep for not being alive when ‘Born to Run’ came out.

‘ ‘ ‘ 6. Clipse, the hip-hop duo behind such hits as ‘Mr. Me Too’ and ‘Grindin’,’ are back, and they brought the old Kanye West with them. If you haven’t, check out ‘Kinda Like a Big Deal’ before it’s your best friend’s ringtone.

‘ ‘ ‘ 7. Mark Hoppus refuses to quit. Between his hilarious Twitter (never though I’d say that), the upcoming Blink 182 tour with Weezer (!), his remix of Fall Out Boy’s ‘America’s Suitehearts’ and that purple octopus (seriously), Hoppus is proving to me why a life saturated with Blink is a lot more fulfilling than trying to worm through the day-to-day with just ‘Dysentery Gary.’

‘ ‘ ‘ 8. That good people are still making good music.
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That last one may have seemed a little lame, but allow me to wax mushy for a bit. I complain a lot about some pretty trivial things, but that’s just because there are so many good things happening in music (ex: everything by Radiohead) that it blows my mind when bad things happen (ex: everything by Taylor Swift). So if there’s one thing that you take from this semester-long column (other than my extreme narcissism), let it be this: search hard enough, and music will reward you. On the other hand, if you really don’t want to take the time, I guess I can’t stop you from enjoying ‘Boom Boom Pow.’ Sigh.