Amaryllis Fox, a former CIA counterterrorism agent, spoke with Al Jazeera Plus in June and had some valuable insights.
“The only real way to disarm your enemy is to listen to them,” she said. “If you hear them out, if you’re brave enough to really listen to their story, you can see that more often than not, you might have made some of the same choices if you’d lived their life instead of yours.”
I couldn’t think of anything more relevant to how liberals and conservatives should approach conversations. However, the fact that I’m quoting a counterterrorism agent speaks to the combative nature of discourse coming from the poles of the political spectrum. Each side feels terrorized. The feeling of being attacked has caused everyone to retreat even further into their Facebook echo chambers full of self-generated pseudo-news. Yet, trying to understand the people you not only categorically disagree with but also feel attacked by is terrifying.
Last week I broke out of my echo chamber. I went to an event hosted by Boston University College Republicans called “2016 Election Fallout.” I sat in the front row as the first question posed to the group was, “What was your reaction to the election?”
Three or four people spoke before me and made fun of what they called “triggered” crying liberals. My heart was pounding and I was so scared to talk for fear of being mocked or yelled at. I raised my hand, and I told the group that I cried when Secretary Hillary Clinton lost to President-elect Donald Trump. I talked about why I cried, but I also talked about how crying is a valid reaction, but no substitute for hard work. I told them about my commitment as a liberal to channeling my pain into promoting more productive discourse and that was why I attended a College Republicans meeting in the first place.
To my surprise, and perhaps theirs as well, it turned into an excellent discussion about how the political poles can better relate. They asked me questions aimed at understanding my point of view. In all honesty, I was so terrified to be there that my nerves took over and I don’t remember most of the specifics of the event. I do, however, remember looking a guy in a red Make America Great Again hat right in the eye and talking to him about how to relate to his liberal friends. I never thought I would ever be in the same room with a red-hatted individual, but there I was.
There were times during that meeting when I felt in over my head being the lone liberal in the room, combined with the fact I had never talked about my political beliefs openly. Still, the College Republicans were receptive and willing to engage. We had a discussion where my liberal views were respected and their views as conservatives were respected. Perhaps most importantly, we conjured up ways to streamline communication. Toward the end of the meeting, members of the E-board began to brainstorm ways to collaborate with the BU College Democrats. It was a really profound experience. Everyone left the room with a new, re-humanized impression of the other side.
My optimism about open bipartisan discourse was dampened by the reaction to the message delivered by the cast of “Hamilton” to Vice President-elect Mike Pence. The “Hamilton” incident this weekend made me even more committed to finding common ground because everyone’s voice should be heard. Pence does however deserve some credit because he is on record saying he “was not offended” by the cast’s remarks. Hopefully, he will encourage the president-elect to echo this message.
We all have an obligation, on the left and on the right, to make our messages more accessible to the other side. However, for some, talking to someone who uses rhetoric you strongly disagree with is not just scary, but can evoke visceral pain. This pain is felt on both sides. Those affected may have genuine fear for their safety and well-being if they reach out across the aisle. I consider this a sad and unacceptable reality.
We cannot sit idly by and let divisive rhetoric become the status quo. We must also unite as Americans to consistently uphold our precious First Amendment rights. We all have a voice, we all want to feel accepted, to have a place in America and we all want to have a shot at the illusive American Dream. To make that possible for all Americans, liberals and conservatives need to work hard for common understanding. With the deep divides in our country, working for common ground will be mentally taxing. Nonetheless, it’s a worthwhile use of time.
For those of us who have the privilege of feeling strong enough to speak up, we must use our voices. We must be brave enough to humanize those who we categorically disagree with. We must learn how to talk to one another effectively and we must be proactive. I challenge every reader of this piece who feels capable of leaving their echo chamber to do so, even if just for a moment.
