Ampersand

With the closing of Loews Nickelodeon Theater and the construction of the new dining hall on West Campus, the ol’ Free Press has come up with some renovations of its own. We would like to see some changes that would update some of Boston University’s drab, boring buildings and benefit campus life while providing comic relief.

First, we suggest that BU transform the Fuller Building into a skating rink. The smooth surface on the first floor would make the building an excellent skating facility. School of Hospitality Administration students who take classes in the building could host skating parties (remember those from middle school?) and serve desserts and finger foods for a profit.

Morse Auditorium could be a petting zoo. Our very own Rhett the Terrier could be the main attraction along with the abandoned cats from Bay State Road and the sewer rats from West Campus. BU could charge an entrance fee to see one of the rare wonders of the world: a Boston College student with a personality.

The steps in front of the Tsai Center could be turned into a skate park. Skate boarders would have a place to practice their death-defying jumps without threat of prosecution. BU could make skate boarding a club sport partially funded by your Undergraduate Student Fee and compete against other schools. We could move the BU-BC rivalry off of the hockey rink and into our new skate park.

Or BU could always turn Comm. Ave. into a drag race strip — oh wait, it already is.

Nickerson Field could be used as a gladiator field. Daring frosh can forgo their housing lottery numbers and wrestle upperclassmen to compete for the best campus housing. Administrators could sit on the judging panel and pummel the students whose performance on the fighting field just doesn’t measure up.

Or better yet, why doesn’t BU build a water slide from the BU Bridge into the Charles River or convert Warren Towers back into a prison to house its prison program? Campus life just wouldn’t be the same.