Boston University Chancellor and acting President John Silber offered advice and encouragement to hundreds of parents of freshmen at his convocation address in Metcalf Hall Sunday afternoon.
Silber opened his address by congratulating the parents on the impressive academic statistics of their children.
“Your good genes, and the nurture that you have given your sons and daughters, explain the outstanding quality of this incoming class,” he said.
Delivering an introduction to the University, Silber outlined the many changes of the past 30 years, highlighting the Hotel Commonwealth, the BU bookstore, the Photonics Center, the College of Engineering and School of Management buildings, and the ongoing Student Village project. He called the improvements part of a “continuing process” and said he was proud of the advances.
Silber also praised Boston as one of the greatest cities in America, and said he found it competitive with New York City, due to its “human scale.” He mentioned the many opportunities for students in the surrounding areas, but also warned parents of the familiar statistic that one student gets hit by a car or train on campus every year.
The majority of Silber’s speech, however, gave advice to parents of freshmen upon leaving their children for the first time. He drew upon his own experiences as an undergraduate studying fine arts, philosophy, music and religion, and he assured them indecisiveness in choosing a major is okay.
“That’s a question that bothered me for a long time — as a matter of fact, I thought about it yesterday,” Silber quipped.
Silber told the parents that education should receive the students’ greatest attention, saying the school “is not Pleasure Island.” He suggested parents urge their children to study 70 hours per week; this leaves eight hours each day for sleep and six hours for fun, Silber said, drawing laughter from the audience.
Silber proposed “reality therapy” as a method of discouraging alcohol and drug abuse. He told parents to explain to their children that if their children die as a result of an overdose, the parents will grieve, but will eventually move on.
“The only person who won’t be there is the person who has been foolish enough to ignore these risks and ended up paying the price,” he said.
Silber said the transition from high school to college provides the best assessment of the parents’ job raising their children. Without the presence of parents to enforce behavioral standards, he said, students will display their true sense of responsibility and values drawn from their upbringing.
Silber also encouraged parents to have their sons and daughters write letters home once a week, saying this form of communication is much more personal and informative than an email or telephone conversation. This method would display improvement in students’ writing abilities, he said, as well as provide the parents with valuable knowledge.
“Your son or daughter will tell you things in writing that they won’t say to your face,” Silber said.
Many parents reacted positively to Silber’s address, saying he offered entertaining and helpful advice.
Jean Merl, mother of College of General Studies freshman Alexander Merl, was already familiar with Silber’s writings and said she enjoyed hearing him speak.
“I think his advice was very down to earth,” she said, “but it also hit the broader peak, too, so it was a nice combination of pragmatic and very big-picture idealism.”
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