Why fantasy sports control my life

Fantasy sports teams have taken over my life. I am a slave to Yahoo!

I’m in two baseball teams, one of which I’m the commissioner for the league, one football team, and hockey and basketball will be along in just a matter of time.

So far, I’ve won my basketball league, I have a shot in one of the baseball to do the same, I am trying to move up in the other and, as all people do before the season starts, I like the way my football team looks.

There’s no mystery as to why these games hold so much power over me. It’s the same reason I write about sports. I may not be good enough to play at any level above intramural, but I know my stuff.

Fantasy sports is just what the name says it is: a perfect way to live out the usual male (and occasionally female) dreams of being in charge, calling the shots.

And if I’m not looking for a way to make one of my teams better, I’m actually playing, setting all kinds of scoring records, winning all kinds of awards.

Of course, they are all in video games, since I’m short, fat and not talented enough to do them in real life.

Other people get hooked on video games like Snood, Everquest, Diablo and the like. Just give me an EA Sports (and the occasional Sega Sports) game and get out of the way.

Further perpetuating the fantasy of actually being able to do what my athletic heroes do, I somehow always end up to be basically the best player in the league, whether it is football (Heisman Trophy winner in my freshman year, NCAA Football 2003), hockey (96 goals, 246 points in NHL 2001), soccer (a couple goals a game playing for AC Milan in FIFA 2002), basketball (30 points, 16 assists per game in NBA 2K2) and football again (60 sacks in a season of NFL 2K2).

And yes, my grades are lacking.

If you think about it, it makes sense for the video games to consume more time. You’re not just putting players in the lineup, you’re controlling their performances. Plus, the added bonus of modern games is that each one has a create-a-player mode, and you can usually create a player that may look like you, but plays like the best player ever created. Because what fun would it be to make yourself a scrub? When I want to suck at these sports, I join an intramural team.

I am a recovering Steelers fan

For years, the black and gold has been my team of choice, despite the fact that I am a Boston sports fan (Sox, Bruins and Celtics), and the New England Patriots fall firmly into that category.

It all started when I was little and I’d read sports books from the library. I got a hold of a book on Franco Harris, read it three times, and I had a new favorite football player and team. The Steelers of the 70s were unstoppable, apparent in their four Super Bowl wins in the decade. Bradshaw, Harris, Bleier, Swann, Stallworth, Webster, Greene, Holmes, Greenwood, White, Lambert, Ham and Blount were the gods of the past I worshipped. When Bill Cowher took over in the Steel City, I had a new generation of Steelers to love, starting with Woodson and including Bettis, Greene (Kevin this time, not Mean Joe), Lake, Lloyd and Buckner, and now guys like Ward, Burress, Stewart and Bell.

But while I’ve always liked the Pats, I just never got that fever, until last year. I mean, what was the greatest moment in Pats history before last year? Does the Snowplow Game really compare to the Immaculate Reception? Does making two Super Bowls come close to matching four wins from 1975-1980? No, and that’s why the Pats had to put in some extra work to capture me.

You can say I just jumped on the bandwagon, only liking the Pats when they beat the Steelers, and you have an argument, but hear me out before I get Fair-Weather Fan tattooed on my forehead.

The 2001-2002 Pats were a different breed, and more than anything, they represent the perfect New England team. They played hard, they looked like they were having fun, they were underdogs, they had a mean streak (see Lawyer Milloy) and more than anything, they were completely unified.

I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy any sporting event as much as I enjoyed that Super Bowl. A constant thrill-ride that started out with a chill running down my spine (The New England Patriots being introduced as a team), and ending in a pigpile (Vinatieri is God).

So it took until the Big One, but I finally got it. And yeah, I still have a spot in my heart for the Steelers, despite the fact they are proving to be morons who can’t keep their mouths shut. But from now on, my football heart bleeds red, white and blue (and silver I guess…but that ruins the whole flow of that statement).