Strength in Spirituality

In 1977, when his son Timmy died in a mountain climbing accident, Boston University religion and philosophy professor Leroy Rouner was overcome with feelings of guilt, helplessness, sadness and anger.

Twenty-five years later, anticipating his retirement, sitting in his office on a large leather chair, a glint in his eye as he watched his golden retriever Mina run around at his feet, he seemed at peace.

Rouner found strength in spirituality, he said.

A self-described ‘philosophical idealist’ — believing there was a reason for everything – Rouner searched for ways to rationally explain Timmy’s accident, he described in his book, The Long Way Home. He thought he could understand his small part in God’s plan, the book says.

‘But incomprehensibility is the nature of accident…and I now suspect that God is the only one who understands God’s Plan,’ Rouner wrote.

Helping people through times of grief is ‘part of what spirituality is about people sense their own weaknesses; they’re willing to admit they need help and to look for something outside themselves that to do that,’ he said, explaining why people young and old turn to religion as a source of strength.

Rouner, who has been teaching theology and philosophy at BU since the 1970s and is director of the BU Institute of Philosophy and Religion, said he sees an increased interest in spirituality in the younger generation. But, he speculated, blossoming spirituality remains ‘undeveloped’ because some people neglect to think about how certain religions will affect all parts of their lives and adopt only the appealing parts.

He offered Buddhism as an example. The influence of Buddhism has grown, he said, especially its valuation of all lives — which, in some cases, is interpreted by ‘tree-hugging,’ he said.

There are parts of Buddhism, however, that are much harder to swallow for many who are attracted to its principles and for Rouner himself, he admitted. He said the classic teachings of Buddhism call for detachment from love in order to be free from pain. Rouner compared this to certain stoic ideas that call for detachment from loving relationships.

‘Ninety-nine percent of us can’t do that; I’m not that tough,’ he said. ‘Are you willing to give up your attachments in life in order to be free from the pain which comes from attachments? You can’t be a lover without pain.

‘I’m a lover it’s part of my Christianity,’ he added thoughtfully.

Rouner described his religious philosophy as a ‘combination of openness and creativity to new possibilities on one hand and a respect for a certain kind of tradition on the other hand.’ This definition for spiritual health, he said, ‘saves you from a total kind of relativism and a total kind of self-centeredism,’ forcing people to ask themselves before they do something, ‘Will this hurt anyone else?’

Since childhood, spirituality has had a significant influence over Rouner’s life. A major factor in his religious development was his family background, which he describes as a ‘very lively religious life without being terribly pious.’ He also cites his religious training at the Union Theological Seminary, which drew him to the academic side of religious study, as an influence in his spiritual life.

Rouner also stressed the importance of the five years he spent teaching religion in India.

‘India was great for raising children,’ he said, referring to the trusting atmosphere of the Indian compounds where he and his wife, Rita, raised four young children for five years.

It was in India that Rouner developed an interest in the relationship between Christianity and other world religions, a theme that would be present in much of his later academic work.

In India, he gained first-hand exposure to several major world religions. This complemented his study of the ideas of philosopher Ernest Hocking, who hypothesized Christianity would become the foundation for world religion in a global civilization. This would be a civil religion, different from specific world religions, he explained.

When it was time to return to the United States, Rouner, Rita and the four children, ages four, six, eight and 10, took an unconventional route.

They drove overland, in the family’s Land Rover, from India to England — through deserts and camping under the stars for much of the trip. They stopped to ask natives if the children could ride their camels, went through the Kandahar Pass and did other ‘foolish’ things, Rouner recalled, pointing to photographs hung on his walls to highlight his anecdotes. The unique nature of the trip is what made it a great experience, he said.

‘Most of the things the really good things I’ve done in my life were rather foolish,’ he said.

Now, after almost 40 years of being a professor, Rouner said he is ready to take the next step in his life.

‘I’m going to be a writer and a country squire,’ he said with a laugh.

Rouner and his wife currently live in North Sandwich, N.H., in a house they bought in 1957. In this house, Rouner said he plans to write another book, this one about loneliness and cultivate the life of a refined gentleman.

‘I have loved teaching at BU. I’ve been very fortunate — this is a place where, you know, if you get your fingers caught in the gears, you can get hurt and I’ve been fortunate not to have had that happen,’ he said.

‘I’ve had a lot of support from the people in the university, particularly for this institute. I have loved being here, and I’m going to love being free of the responsibilities.’