Guess who’s back back again Silber’s back tell a friend. Step aside Aerosmith, Boston’s newest musical sensation, John Silber and The Trustees, will release their debut album later this week. Featuring catchy remixes of popular tunes including ‘Oops, I Did It Again,’ ‘My Way,’ Eagle Eye Cherry’s ‘Indecision’ and a collection of songs from Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Flash Master Mac’Silber rhymes to techno beats about his 30 years at Boston University.
In the album’s title track, ‘Ain’t Going Nowhere,’ Flash Master Mac’Silber raps about how he hired, fired and replaced former President Jon Westling and successfully recalled would-have-been president Daniel S. Goldin. It is still under investigation as to whether Silber played a role in the French Revolution. As for the whole Gray Davis fiasco the Grope-a-nator and Flash Master are definitely in cahoots.
In light of recent events Flash Master’s advice in his book, ‘Straight Shooting: What’s Wrong With America and How to Fix It,’ may lose some credibility. How about ‘What’s Wrong With BU and How to Fix It.’
Make no mistake about it, retired or not, John Silber will always be playing the strings of the BU marionette.
On the other hand, Goldin, out of work, down on his luck, has been spotted at the SMG career center where he was told the paper he printed his resumé on was just a smidgen too flimsy, he needed another internship and networking is the key to life. As for future employment, the outlook is bleak; e-recruiting listed that Burrito Max is in need of a line cook.
Our university is in the midst of some serious confusion, and it reflects badly on us.
You know something has gone horribly awry when the Board of Trustees meetings look more and more like the Bloods and Crips in Compton. Does it tell us something that the leader of the Ringling Brothers Circus resigned from the board? What was he doing there in the first place? Is the entire board composed of clowns? Evidently.
Amidst all this controversy one thing is clear BU has its priorities about as straight as Jack from ‘Will and Grace.’ Hell, $1.8 million is a big paycheck for someone who was fired before they started work.
Some simple math reveals that Goldin’s severance package (aka bribe) to leave and shut up would supply 2,000 computers to Mugar Library where the computer shortage has instigated fistfights between students. Three thousand seven hundred fifty students per computer is a ludicrous ratio that’s if you don’t count the ones you have to pedal to work and be fluent in hieroglyphics to operate.
The same $1.8 million would lower every undergraduate’s tuition by roughly $100. $1.8 million could be put toward restarting the football program, or to enticing fans to field hockey games. $1.8 million could buy another Napoleon Death Mask for the entrance of Mugar Memorial Library. $1.8 million can go a long way. This misappropriation of much needed funds perfectly highlights the fiscal irresponsibility of our school.
But for now Dan Goldin will laugh all the way to the Fleet in the GSU. Flash Master and The Trustees hope to recoup some of their losses through record sales of ‘Ain’t Going Nowhere.’
Cory Hardy, a senior in the College of Communication, is a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press.
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