Welcome to Mooseport substitutes manufactured warmth for comic snap. This wannabe Capra-esque fable about a retired president (Gene Hackman) running against an average-Joe plumber (Ray Romano) in a small town mayoral election represents a misfired attempt to jump-start TV star Romano’s film career and looks like one of Hackman’s ever-more-blatant money grabs.
Hackman’s Monroe Cole is introduced as “the most popular president in history.” (Nuance is not this film’s forte.) We’re told he boasted an 85 percent approval rating during his administration.
Amid an acrimonious divorce from the former first lady (Christine Baranski), Cole plans to retire to his summer home in Mooseport, Maine, a town so quiet and folksy that a senile old man can jog naked down Main Street and the residents just chalk it up to quirkiness. (This happens before the movie’s title even appears onscreen.)
The trouble is, Mooseport’s incumbent mayor has died, he was running unopposed and the deadline for candidates to file is 24 hours away. The town’s elders – a Greek chorus of cutesiness – convince Cole to take the position. Little does he know that plumber Harold “Handy” Harrison (Romano) has also thrown his hat into the ring.
For Cole, it’s a David vs. Goliath match with the potential for some very bad public relations – he can’t trounce the little guy, but he can’t back down either. For Harrison, it’s a chance to prove himself to his girlfriend, a veterinarian named Sally (Maura Tierney), whom Cole asks on a date.
Deep down, Welcome to Mooseport wants to be a satire of the down-home faades of politicians, those ruthless powermongers who pretend to be family men and fishermen when the cameras are rolling. But Hackman already sang that tune in The Birdcage, and Tom Schulman’s script lacks the bite to make good on its premise.
Donald Petrie, who last turned How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days into a living nightmare, directs. He’s once again clueless about how to pace a good comedy.
Instead, the movie offers scores of precocious locals and at least one too many romantic subplots. Romano works hard in his first big-screen outing, but his self-effacement plays better on the small screen. Rip Torn shows up as a hard-bitten campaign manager, but he’s really just doing Rip Torn.
The movie’s trump cards are its women: Baranski’s silky slither enlivens her scenes, Tierney continues to be better than any movie role she’s ever played and Marcia Gay Harden adds considerable depth to the role of Cole’s all-too-loyal chief advisor.
The supporting actresses’ accomplishments aside, Welcome to Mooseport elicits little more than the occasional chuckle and a slight appreciation of its good-natured geniality. But the movie, finally, is all too good-natured. Its energy level is so low that you’ll be forgiven for noticing the number of plugs FOX News gets in this 20th Century Fox release, which number at least three.
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