Children need mother, father

n I’m writing in response to the many self-righteous letters that have been submitted recently on the subject of gay adoption. While the authors aim at high and lofty goals such as “equality” and quarrel over the child’s sexuality being influenced by the parents, they seem to have completely missed a larger issue at hand — namely, the welfare of the child. First, I’m not sure if you remember what it is like being a kid, but we all know someone teased for everything from their clothes to the “yo mamma so fat” jokes. Add the usual problems children face, coupled with having two dads or two moms attend a PTA meeting and then having to explain it to their peers the next day. However, that is still not the main issue. The main point which has been missed is this: A child without a male and female presence in his or her life is put at an unfair disadvantage to children who do have a mom and dad. Again and again statistics show increased delinquency and numerous other problems among children from broken homes. Note broken homes – that can include two loving females, such as an aunt and a mother – but the bottom line is this does not fill the void left by the father’s absence. Boys need male role models in their lives, as much as girls need to have fathers in their lives in order to value and respect themselves. For these girls, it is simply something they often cannot gain from a mother. As children grow, their bodies change. Having a member of the same sex who understands and can explain the subtleties of these changes aside from the obvious is important to help them through this difficult stage in their lives. Additionally, socially, boys and girls face issues with friends and members of the opposite sex with which they need advice on how to best handle these relationships. The age old saying “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” conveys this point – there are simply things men and women do and have always seen and dealt with differently. This is not arguing one way or the other in favor of gay adoption; it is simply an issue that should be addressed. Perhaps we need to look at who is really being affected – the children, rather than the bickering between adults because they want and feel they can properly raise kids, or that someone else cannot suitably raise a child. This isn’t about being gay or straight, it’s about providing role models of both sexes in a developing child’s life.

Sarah Valerio CAS ’04