After Turner Broadcasting Company
created mass panic with its unique advertising campaign Wednesday, we here at the ol’ Free Press found some other police reports that stirred up some chaos.
BUPD received a report Saturday of an apparent bomb threat at The Roof. Officers arrived to the scene but were shocked to just find the BU women’s basketball team.
The next day, BUPD received an alarming call of a streak of lightning tearing through the Track and Tennis Center. Officers reported it was a blurry David Proctor.
BUPD has received many reports of violent mobs swarming outside Marsh Chapel. Upon arriving, officers found the mobs were just passengers cramming onto the BUS.
Shortly after, officers received a call of a Level 3 Dungeon Master defeating a Level 12 Cleric in a heated game of Dungeons ‘ Dragons. BUPD ordered the ENG students to stop clogging emergency lines.
After receiving a call Wednesday evening of Mayor Thomas Menino stammering and slurring his speech at the Roxbury police station, officers were dispatched to arrest him for public intoxication. However, upon arriving to the scene, it was determined that he was just holding a press conference.
The Boston Fire Department received an urgent call this week of a raging fire tearing through Marsh Chapel. Firefighters responded to the call to find the LaRouche Youth Movement going down in flames.
The Massachusetts Department of Public Health was called to 842 Commonwealth Ave. last night, responding to violations of sanitary working conditions. Officials found the offices of The Daily Free Press covered in garbage and infested with asbestos. The HAZMAT team was called.
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