This week the Boston Police Department ticketed bikers for running red lights at the BU Bridge. So we here at the ol’ Free Press thought about all the people that we would fine if we had the authority.
- The hipsters on campus should be ticketed for wearing thick-rimmed glasses when they actually have 20//20 vision.
- The girls of BU should be ticketed for wearing leggings as pants.
- CGS students should be fined for DUIs – drawing under the influence.
- Lisa Kevorkian should be fined for killing the competition.
- SMG students should get fined so that we can redistribute the wealth to starving CFA and COM students.
- Boston College’s newspaper should be given a fine for stealing The FreeP’s blog title and then using it to post Honest Tea quotes.
- Aaron Sorkin shouldn’t be fined, but should be forced to do a year’s worth of BU homework.
- The editors of The Daily Free Press should be fined for suspiciously wandering the streets on their way home in the middle of the night.
This is an account occasionally used by the Daily Free Press editors to post archived posts from previous iterations of the site or otherwise for special circumstance publications. See authorship info on the byline at the top of the page.
