VASQUEZ: On friendship

Can you imagine a lonely world? Masses of people walking down the street and none stop to say hello. Grabbing a cup of coffee with an empty chair in front of you. Sitting in a crowded movie theater and acknowledging no one. There is a fine line between being alone and being lonely. And that line is called friendship.

There is a unique breed of human. They are loyal, funny and caring. They know you better than you know yourself. They finish your sentences. They talk to you for hours. Or they sit with you in silence because their company is all you need. We need them more than we will ever admit or understand. They are our best friends.

In our lives, we will meet hundreds of people. We will live in and travel to different places. As we grow accustomed to our surroundings, we will make new friends with the people around us. They will be added to the growing list of scrapbook memories, inside jokes and faded photographs. Long after we move away, they remain contacts in our phones, connected through our digital world.

This happens so many times it becomes routine. The constantly changing faces of our closest companions become associated with different stages of our lives. The truly remarkable thing happens when one of those faces refuses to change with the others. Instead, it becomes clearer and permanent. That is when you know this friendship is not simply a matter of circumstance.

These are the friendships to hold on to. I have barely two decades of experience behind me, and I can hardly recall the different groups I have been a part of throughout the years, made up of the people I swore would be close to me forever. I can count on my fingers the individuals who remain. The years have strengthened us, regardless of distance and time spent apart. Now they are scattered around the country, all of us working hard to achieve the dreams we once whispered about during sleepovers and birthdays. We may not talk every day. We may go weeks without a single message. But the second their name appears on my screen, it is as if nothing has changed.

I like being alone but I don’t fancy being lonely. I appreciate every single friend I have ever had. Whether they were circumstantial or permanent, I never forget the value of trust and loyalty. I never underestimate the comfort that comes from sitting next to a person in silence and still understanding each other completely. Whether it is someone you go to for advice, for laughter, for serious conversation, for help or just to have someone there, a friend is the only answer.

New friends, old friends – it doesn’t really matter. It is when you find the ones that stick that something amazing happens. And that certainly does not mean that the others mean anything less. If they made you laugh, took care of you and were there for you, they deserve just as much love and appreciation. An old friend is the best mirror. But those friends were new once too. And when you find that group of people that make you so happy that you just want to call CBS and tell them to make a sitcom featuring your friends, you better never let them go.

Never let your friends forget how much they mean to you. There will come a day when you won’t have that chance anymore. Never forget how much you might mean to them. They may not say it often or at all, but never underestimate the fact that you might be just what they need.

Dany Vasquez is a sophomore in the College of Communication and a weekly columnist for The Daily Free Press. She can be reached at vasquezd@bu.edu