MARASCO: Shaking the Money Tree

Dwyane Wade’s suggestion last week that Olympic basketball players wouldn’t mind getting paid for the endeavor set off a firestorm of criticism that resulted in him ultimately “changing his mind” and backing down from his comments.

Wade was agreeing with the sentiments of Celtics sharpshooter Ray Allen, who had broached the issue the day before. Wade went on to say that he also thinks college players should be compensated, and the age-old debate has again resurfaced.

But I always find myself reacting the same way when the “College athletes should get paid, man. This is Amurrica,” guy gets up on his soapbox – Huh?

First of all, college athletes do get paid – a lot. Many get four-year scholarships that end up being worth an excess of $200,000. Say that out loud. These suffering athletes don’t have it as bad as the “Free college athletes!” guy might make you think.

They also get housed and fed for free. Books for free. That isn’t a form of payment? Heck, if you play football in the SEC you probably make 20 bucks every time an alumnus shakes your hand.

Those poor, poor, collegiate athletes – they give, they give and they give . . .

And why do so many feel that these starving student-athletes merit payment? The overwhelming majority of them cost the school money. And they should earn a salary on top of that?

People love to talk about how much revenue college sports generate – how much money the athletes earn for their greedy, fat-cat school administrators.

The conspiracy theory guy always comes out in full force when reports surface that SEC football has hit another ridiculous revenue total – into the billions this past season. Does conspiracy theory guy take cost into account though?

Hey, revenue is great. I’d love to be able to say that something I did generated a billion dollars of revenue (make all checks payable to Frank Christopher Marasco), but what is “revenue” if the expenditure surpasses it?

As of last semester: Of the 332 Division I athletic programs, fewer than a dozen made money for the school.

But not football. All the football teams generate huuuuge incomes. Right?

No. Quite frankly, it is a myth.

Sticking with this past season, of the 120 Division I football teams, only 14 are profitable. Eighty-eight percent of Division I football teams are university-run charities.

Now we’re opening up a whole other can of worms. If we want to pay college athletes, only those who go to programs that generate revenue can be paid.

And even in that case, not all the players on those teams would be able to receive a cut before the money dried up. Schools would have to determine which players merit a salary.

So then, for example, we could have a scenario where the Alabama football players who are deemed to be important enough to the program are being paid and competing directly against other schools whose athletes are not paid. Additionally, other players on their own team would be playing besides them for free.

Nothing about that sounds plausible.

You cannot pay Alabama football players, but not those who play for Rutgers – they play in the same division.

Furthermore, all collegiate sports fall under the NCAA umbrella. If you pay college football players, you then have to find a way to pay the other athletes – unless you enjoy being sued.

Where does it end, and where does the money come from?

Does conspiracy, “universities are extorting college athletes” man think that there’s some magical source of income? Didn’t his dad every give him the lecture about the “money tree?”

In short: Money does not grow on trees. There is no such money tree.

So when the Trinity College squash team starts saying that they should get paid, I’ll have no problem with the university saying, “Shouldn’t the fact that we house you, feed you, educate you and front money so you can travel around playing squash be enough?”

Everyone wants more money. I’d love it. I’d love a lot of things. I’d love to go to Mars – how have we not gone to Mars yet? Seriously.

But the point is, college athletes do get paid, and the universities lose money on the overwhelming majority of athletic programs.

Someday, when the money tree is discovered – growing beside Sasquatch’s lair, which also contains the Holy Grail – I will be in favor of the Stanford diving team getting a paycheck.

Until then, I side with the universities.