THE EMPTY NET: The beautiful game

When I moved into Student Village II this year, I was excited to have such a marvelous view of Nickerson Field.  I have the opportunity to take in any BU soccer match with a bird’s eye view, at my leisure, from the comfort of my living room — even bedroom if I so desire.

However, as we learn in Hitchcock’s “Rear Window,” when you practice voyeurism you may begin to notice things that you wish you hadn’t seen — such as the upsetting lack of attendance at these games.

“Aren’t there more than eight football fans at BU?” I said to myself when I looked over at the grandstand.

And, yes, it is called football so I will be referring to the game accordingly for the rest of this piece.

I enter the West  Campus dining hall with the hopes of a hot meal and a venue to watch the Champions League, but alas the TVs are flooded with Sportscenter and First Take.

We’d really rather watch Twins – Royals highlights and Skip Bayless than Bayern Munich take on Valencia?

The entire world — from Costa Rica to Cameroon to Croatia — pledges allegiance to the “beautiful game.”

But not us.

Why?

For some areas of the world it’s easier to connect the dots. Lesser developed areas such as Central America, South America and Africa have been subject to extreme European discourse over centuries — the game is now inherent to their culture, as in Europe.

Many countries in that category also have a lower surplus of wealth. Football is easy for anyone to play — rich or poor.

Not everyone has access to ice skating rinks, or helmets and pads for American football — even gloves and bats for baseball — but if you have a foot and a ball you can play football.

So, naturally, football’s popularity has spread like wildfire south of the Tropic of Cancer.

But why do the U.S. and Europe — very comparable regarding wealth, climate and development — vary so much in football interest?

Americans love to call football “boring,” or say they don’t like it because of flopping.

But can’t baseball be boring sometimes? Don’t basketball players flop?

We watch those sports.  So where does the real disconnect occur?

Traveling with a group of friends a couple summers ago, we entered a small restaurant in Barcelona.

Our server approached and asked what we would like. One friend responded by asking if there was a menu he could look at.

The server smiled and shook his head — no menu. “Just tell me what you’d like,” he said.

Admittedly, it was strangely difficult to order without a menu.

Americans are oddly addicted to structure. We stick to the menu. We have a gross excess of unnecessary rules and laws. People live on strict schedules — constantly stressing over time.

Naturally, our favorite sports are mired with regulation.

Look at our most viewed sport, American football.

The clock starts and stops constantly. There’s regulation on everything — holding, roughing the passer, illegal formation, illegal shift, blocking in the back, pass interference, neutral zone infraction — you name it.

The ground can’t cause a fumble. A receiver must get both feet in bounds and have “control” of the ball and he can’t be contacted by a defender after five yards.

Coaches have the option to challenge decisions by the referees.

There’s a break, substitutions and realignments between every single play. Teams score constantly and there’s a stat for everything — more tangible ways to define success.

Now look at laissez-faire Europe. They don’t always have menus. They’re less bogged down in regulation. They take life more slowly, live less stressfully, worry less about time and schedules.

There’s less stressing over rules, more gray area.

We can’t smoke cigarettes indoors in the U.S. When living in Prague it was a standard occurrence to see natives smoking more than just cigarettes indoors — no one cared.

Football reflects this. The clock just runs. They add a little time at the end of halves for stoppages of play, but it’s not an exact amount — it’s just a guesstimate.

You can’t cherry-pick, you can’t knock people down, you can’t use your hands — simple, obvious things.

This frustrates Americans who are new to the game.

“Why don’t they just stop the clock when the ball goes out of bounds?” said every non-football-playing American I’ve ever watched the sport with.

When watching the Super Bowl in Prague, a Czech man joked with me about American football’s micro-managed nature.

“The offense plays, then a whole new team comes out to play defense. They even have a different team just to kick the ball away,” he said with a playful smile — a clever and charming perspective on the game.

In football, you just play — you don’t trot out a new squad to take a corner kick.

Less of the game is translated to data.  Sometimes you have to trust your eyes to determine which team is “ahead” since scores are fewer and farther between.

Many of the best players do things that don’t translate to a stat sheet.

Ask yourself — is the entire rest of the world wrong about football or are we missing the boat?

Reject your American inkling for narrow-mindedness — give football a chance.