Every year before I go off to college, I get the same talk from my mom. She reminds me to stay on top of my grades, have fun with my friends and keep an eye on my drink at parties. The first two are normal reminders for any college students, but how has the third reminder become a normal thing for parents to tell their children?
I often wonder if that last piece of advice would be different if I was not a woman. I’ve been warned many times to watch my drink and be vigilant of my surroundings, not only by my friends, but also by police authorities and the school administration.
I have yet to meet a woman my age who has not been sexually assaulted, whether it was cat-calling on the street or getting touched by a man without permission. Just this past summer, a man at a music festival sexually harassed me. He was clearly drunk and put his arm around my waist, even after I had politely asked him to step away from me. I was disgusted, but a part of me knew it wouldn’t be the last time I was faced with a situation like that.
I’ve come to understand that everyone should be aware of where they are and protect themselves from any sort of harm. What concerns me is that the majority of this hyper-awareness is directed toward women.
Women are expected to protect themselves at all times: during parties, on the streets at night, in bars, etc. We’re trained to carry pepper spray with us, take self-defense classes and hold our keys between our fingers when we walk to our car (I have done all of the above).
There have even been products that were made to protect women. A company was developing underwear that could not be ripped off, and earlier this summer, a nail polish was created to detect date rape drugs in drinks.
When did it become a woman’s job to protect herself against sexual assault?
These products are clearly geared toward women, attempting to make us feel safer. When our society discusses the topic of sexual assault, we put a woman’s face to it. We think of our daughters, sisters, mothers and girlfriends. We forget that sexual assault is an issue that affects all of society, even men.
According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, 3 percent of all sexually assaulted victims are men. Sexual assault is a crime that goes unreported 60 percent of the time, and men especially fail to come forward.
Besides that, when it comes to sexual assault, all prevention aspects are directed at people to prevent assault from happening to them. Little is done to educate the perpetrators. Why aren’t we teaching people to respect others and to not commit these crimes?
On Sept. 19, the Obama administration announced the “It’s On Us” campaign. This is the first big step for the government in combatting sexual assault across college campuses nationwide.
I went through the website itself and took the pledge to recognize, identify, intervene and create. The pledge word-for-word is:
I PLEDGE:
To RECOGNIZE that non-consensual sex is sexual assault.
To IDENTIFY situations in which sexual assault may occur.
To INTERVENE in situations where consent has not or cannot be given.
To CREATE an environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable and survivors are supported.
This model does more than just warn people to be actively aware of sexual assault encounters; it holds all of us responsible. It encourages bystanders to take action and not just stand around when they see a potentially dangerous situation. It holds all of us responsible to create a safe environment where nobody feels the need to be constantly watching over his or her drink.
I support this campaign, but I think it lacks on certain aspects. I feel as if it could do more to emphasize prevention and educate those who are creating that unsafe environment. We should define what sexual assault is. It is not just rape or inappropriate touching. Name-calling and wolf whistling count as well.
Instead of teaching our girls to protect themselves from harm, why aren’t we teaching our boys to respect girls? We should be raising the standards for men so that women do not have to lower their own.
Not only that, but we should be teaching all genders to respect each other. No one should think that using date rape drugs is OK or that harming another human being will go unpunished.
“It’s On Us” is a start down the right path. It won’t be the automatic solution, but it is part of a bigger one. It allows people to realize that to keep each other safe and to make college campuses a place where this behavior is not condoned, it’s on us.
