This semester, I spent a lot of time bitching about trivial things that piss me off.
And I’m not sorry.
But in the spirit of Thanksgiving and the upcoming holidays, I thought it might be refreshing to share with you the things that I’m actually grateful for.
Shocking, I know.
I was unable, but more just unwilling, to make the trip home to California to spend Thanksgiving at the table with my divorced parents and three younger brothers around a buffet of brutally uninspired sweet potato and green bean dishes. Instead, this year, I chose to spend the day with my friend Carolyn and her family in Newburyport.
Spending Thanksgiving in New England this year, at a table that looked like it should have been photographed for the cover of Martha Stewart Living Magazine, surrounded by people that were grateful to have me as their guest, I realized that these are the precious moments that inspire thankfulness. You may not know it by reading my rant of a column every week, but this year, and every year, actually, I really do have so much to be grateful for. Beyond being spared from my own family’s usually melodramatic Thanksgiving celebration, where my mom either drops the turkey and splinters it with glass or my dad breathes passive-aggressive comments about the consistency of the cranberry sauce under his breath, when it came time to share what I was thankful for, I had a full list.
Let me humor you.
Every single day, I am so thankful for my cat, Lars. Nothing brings more joy and delight to my life than my four-and-a-half year old, 30-pound son who loves belly rubs, sleeping at the foot of my bed, Dentabites cat treats and the sound of his own voice. To this day, the $3,000 I spent in veterinarian bills to bring him back to life after a car hit him 2 years ago continues to be the best money I’ve ever spent.
I’m thankful for the upcoming trip to Southeast Asia that I have planned with my brother Sam at the end of December. I can’t wait to spend so much quality time traveling through Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia and Singapore together that we never want to speak to each other again.
I’m also thankful for the ability to block friends and family on social media sites. Although I’m thankful that their irritating posts were inspiration for some of my better rant columns this past year, without the unfollow button on Facebook, I might never be able to scan through my news feed or Instagram without being assaulted by pictures of gummy babies, ugly puppies and sloppy dinner plates.
And I never forget how grateful I am for HBO. How incomplete my life would be without episodes of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Girls” and “True Detective.” Cheers, Larry David and Lena Dunham. Thank you always for being the friends who show up and make my lazy hours a lot more hilarious and a little less lonely. Also, thank you for enabling my bad habit of procrastination. I couldn’t have written so many last-minute papers without you.
And you, Joe, at Chameleon Tattoo, I am oh so grateful for you. Thanks for the ink. Your services are less than cheap, but it’s always worth every penny when I get to see the look of horror on my father’s face when he sees your permanent artwork carved into my arms in the shapes of skulls and flowers. How thrilled he will be when I return home at Christmas with an arm full of new ink. And when he asks me how I paid for it, I’ll remember that I’m thankful for financial aid.
Speaking of financial aid, I’m thankful to be at Boston University for graduate school and to be graduating with a master’s degree this month, even though I am convinced that I was accepted into the College of Communication accidentally. I mean, how could I have been accepted after I dropped out of BU after just one year as a freshman undergraduate with the worst grades of my entire academic career? To this day, I swear my re-admittance to BU was a mistake, but every day, I am grateful to be given a second chance to come back and do it right.
Finally, Carolyn, thank you for inviting me to spend this Thanksgiving with you and your wonderful family. It was an honor to spend the day with you in your lovely town. It was a refreshing treat to spend the day with such kind, funny, smart and welcoming people, and for that, I am truly grateful. Cheers, my dear, and thank you for saving me from spending a nightmarish Thanksgiving Day at home in California. It will not soon be forgotten.
