Romance is in the air, and it’s not because every news reporter is telling us to “Netflix and chill” during snowstorms. Valentine’s Day is upon us. The complicated holiday celebrates love, romance and a saint historically unrelated to those two things. No matter the background of the holiday, Feb. 14 is intimidating for those who are single, in a blossoming relationship or even fully committed.
Valentine’s Day is a problem for new romance. Starting a relationship before Valentine’s Day can be tricky with the threat of knowing the most romantic day of the year is coming. For many college students, romance is not something they specifically look for in a relationship, but regardless of the commitment level, a blossoming relationship must get past the questions that come up when Feb. 14 arrives.
At what point in a relationship do you spend Valentine’s Day together? The celebration carries a huge connotation, and whether or not two people spend time together — and what they do with that time — is extremely significant.
There are ways to spend Valentine’s Day un-romantically, to treat it as if it were any other day. Other people dive head first into romantic celebration, regardless of the length of their relationship.
The most important thing to know before making any reservations for Valentine’s Day is what the other person wants. If you are unsure of what to do, chances are they feel the same way. Maybe you both agree to a candlelit evening or getting together with a few friends. But if you both agree to the plans, there should be no room for discomfort.
After the first Valentine’s Day, the questions become less about how willing you are to celebrate the holiday and more about what to do on the date. But planning a date has become more trivial with the advancement of online dating. A classic dinner and a movie has transformed into “Netflix and chill,” which, for those unsure, is a euphemism. For sex. What constitutes a date is becoming less and less defined, but Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for careful date planning.
For those looking to start relationships of any length and commitment level, the first impression has the potential to end a relationship before it even starts. For an increasing number of people, especially young people, the first impression is made online, not in person.
This is the key difference from meeting someone in person before going on a date, and is more similar to going on a blind date. The first impression is immediately set in the context of dating.
The definition of falling in love has changed with the introduction of online dating, and that’s a statement that should shock no one. As processing speeds and computers become smaller, finding interested singles in your area becomes easier. The way we meet people has changed, but is this change for the better?
The coffee shop date is an online dating staple. It’s the first place two people meet in person after swiping right on Tinder, and signifies the least commitment possible for a first date. There is no show you need to sit through, no meal you have to wait for and no distance to be traveled together.
You grab a coffee, grab a table and talk for however long one of the parties deems necessary. Additionally, if you were to pay for someone’s drink, they should not expect to spend more than five dollars — an ideal amount if you have no plans to continue a relationship with someone.
There are cons to coffee dates, the main one being that the possibility for a quick escape is too tempting. While, truthfully, chemistry can usually be felt in the first few minutes of a conversation, some people may show more of themselves after talking for a while.
Regardless of the pros and cons, the coffee date is the modern, convenient dating go-to on college campuses. It’s a trend that, I believe, spread from college students’ need for caffeine in their crammed schedules.
Coffee dates show no understanding of the other person’s interests and are not suitable for Valentine’s Day, but for those of you interested in ignoring Valentine’s Day, head over to a coffee shop for a noncommittal, semi-romantic experience on Sunday.
