I’ve always been a very sentimental person. I cried at my last eighth grade dance because leaving the comfort of my middle school and transitioning to the big, scary high school meant that everything was going to change. I was one of those people. I felt nostalgic and grateful rather than completely ready to move on when we were finishing up high school and getting ready to leave our small town for college.
When I came to college, nothing really changed about my sentimental personality. I was ready to continue this pattern of finding meaning in everything — my first trip to the dining hall, my first night away from my parents, my first time having a heart to heart with my new college best friends.
And most of all, I was ready to find meaning in this so-called “college experience” that people had gone on and on about since I started practicing for the SATs. Everyone said it would be the best four years of my life. They said I would figure out what I wanted to do with my career, that I would meet my truest friends and maybe even find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So that’s what I prepared myself for. I wanted to have this meaningful experience right away. I wanted my life to be filled with spontaneous adventures — leaving my dorm in the middle of the night to look at the stars, taking that one class with that one professor that would make me realize my life’s purpose. Basically, I wanted my life to be a sepia-filtered montage that would play out perfectly to an indie music playlist on Spotify.
My first semester came and went. So did my second semester. I had yet to feel like my life was how I thought it was going to be. Everything was great. I had amazing friends, a good living situation, took some classes I loved (some that were just OK), but my “aha moment” never showed up.
My free time was filled with homework, hanging out with my friends and floormates, catching up with friends from home and maybe going out to eat once in a while. Of course, I was trying not to spend too much money in a big city. I found that I much preferred this type of relaxation and time for myself to the lifestyle I had originally envisioned.
And then, just like any college freshman realizing they only have three years left before they are flung into the real world, I had a moment of crisis. Maybe I was doing it all wrong. I convinced myself that I needed to work harder to have the experience everyone raved about. Besides, I didn’t have that much more time before my responsibilities were much bigger than that term paper due Thursday.
I felt like I was watching my life flash by, and sooner or later, I would be older and wondering where my college years had gone, and everything would only be memories.
We live in a culture that emphasizes the importance of taking chances and risks whenever we get the opportunity — a “YOLO” culture, if you will. We grew up in a time of angsty 2000s-era music that made us want to rebel against conventions and coming-of-age young adult novels that made us want to embrace our inner protagonist.
But I came to realize that these books, songs and experiences were not universal. Sure, maybe these aggrandized moments of euphoria happen to some people, but they do not happen to everyone. And so far, they have not happened to me. I realized that I loved college because of the smaller memories that happened on regular days, when I felt like I could be myself.
College is scary because there is this sense that it is a transition into adulthood, and that it’ll be over before you know it. Some people make it seem like nothing will ever give us as much joy or freedom as our college years, but I refuse to admit that’s true. Every day of our lives, we have the opportunity to find meaning and happiness.
Enjoy the little moments — the late-night pizza delivery you ordered with your friends on a weekday evening when your mind was fried from studying, that time the fire alarm went off and your roommate was in the shower, the time you played rolling chair races in your freshman dorm.
Now, as a sophomore who has had plenty of existential crises up to this point, I can honestly say that you don’t have to have an aha moment out of a movie to enjoy your college experience. Just live, and do what makes you happy.
