Call me crazy, but I think it’s possible for men to both respect their wives while also maintaining productive working relationships with women. Vice president Mike Pence, however, might disagree. Recently, the Washington Post profiled second lady Karen Pence and from the entire piece, a few lines went viral: “In 2002, Mike Pence told The Hill that he never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and that he won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side, either.” Now, this revelation isn’t entirely surprising, given that the Pences are staunch evangelical Christians, but that doesn’t make it any less sexist — and yes, it is sexist.
Pence’s dining policies serve to combat the inherently human tendency to commit indiscretions. However, if Pence is operating under the logic that dining with a woman could open the door to indiscretion, then he’s jumping to unsavory conclusions about women in general and his ability to control himself sexually. Let’s be frank. Pence is assuming that in any one-on-one setting with a female, he might be seduced. This longstanding prejudice against women rests on the assumption that a woman’s primary power lies in her sexuality, rather than her intellect or contributions to the workplace. The fact that Pence can be vice president of the United States without ever having a working lunch or private meeting with a woman is somewhat astounding. It speaks to the pervasiveness of gender inequity in our society. Let’s flip this situation. If a female senator or congresswoman adopted the Pence approach to dining, it would be impossible for her to succeed or grow as a professional. She would miss too many meetings and networking opportunities that often occur over lunch.
Assumptions like Pence’s have an undeniably negative impact on the career paths of women. In 2015, National Journal conducted an anonymous survey of female Capitol Hill staffers and the findings were unsurprising: “Several female aides reported that they have been barred from staffing their male bosses at evening events, driving alone with their congressman or senator, or even sitting down one-on-one in his office for fear that others would get the wrong impression.” One survey respondent, who had worked for the same man for 12 years, said this of her boss: he “never took a closed door meeting with me … This made sensitive and strategic discussions extremely difficult.” These women face very real barriers to professional success that simply do not exist for their male counterparts.
Being that it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I would be totally remiss if I didn’t address the fact that there was an era where it was commonplace for men to manipulate their female colleagues into sex acts at one-on-one meetings. That era is long gone, but some high-profile and high-earning men haven’t gotten the memo. Last Saturday, The New York Times reported that Bill O’Reilly and Fox News had settled at least five sexual harassment lawsuits against O’Reilly dating back to 2002. One of O’Reilly’s accusers, former Fox News guest Wendy Walsh, recounts a dinner she had with O’Reilly. Walsh believed she was having a working dinner to discuss her employment prospects at Fox News as a contributor. At the end of the dinner O’Reilly invited Walsh to his hotel room and Walsh declined. As to appear cordial, Walsh offered to get a drink with O’Reilly at the hotel bar. Walsh recounts a change in O’Reilly’s demeanor and he reportedly said that she could forget any career advice that he had given her then proceeded to insult her purse. After the dinner, she got a call from Fox News saying that she was no longer going to appear as a guest on “The O’Reilly Factor.” Her career was forever altered and she is now an adjunct professor. Walsh commented on that dinner saying, “I knew my hopes of a career at Fox News were in jeopardy after that evening.” Walsh also said, “I feel bad that some of these old guys are using mating strategies that were acceptable in the 1950s and are not acceptable now. I hope young men can learn from this.”
Pence’s and O’Reilly’s respective approaches to dealing with women at work are more similar than you would think. Both men reduce women to sexual objects thus creating professional challenges that simply men do not face. O’Reilly puts women in positions where they have to choose between their career and their integrity. Pence doesn’t allow women to have a seat at the table. Through his precautionary measures, Pence is creating a workplace culture with a firm glass ceiling which is far from ideal for ambitious women who want a seat at the table.
The discussion that ensued after the Pences were profiled in the Washington Post had little to do with their marriage and a lot to with equality in the workplace. This story, juxtaposed with the O’Reilly exposé, made it crystal clear to the public that women face tangible barriers to success in the workplace. In light of this juxtaposition, I hope Pence realizes that he can be part of the solution by changing the culture in his office. I think it’s incredibly admirable that the Pences have such a strong partnership. But the vice president is probably capable of both having a devoted marriage and treating his subordinates equally, even if they happen to be women. Pence is given an incredible opportunity to be an exemplar for the rest of the country and he better take advantage of it. If he doesn’t, then I’ll find a chaperone, invite him to lunch and give him a piece of my mind.
