WILSHERE: Back to school

The return to campus is always filled with excitement. Backs aching from moving heavy boxes, credit cards maxed out from buying books, parents shedding both a tear and a sigh of relief. School starting means that an almost palpable mix of nerves and excitement fill the air.

For me, being back on campus after going abroad is a weird feeling. This feeling, mixed with the knowledge that this is my senior year, makes for a very interesting start to the semester. When I left for London in January, I had a strange feeling that I wouldn’t be coming back, at least not for a while. When I found myself back in Boston for the Class of 2017 graduation, I saw firsthand that sometimes, life comes at you fast.

Although Boston University is big, it also feels very small. It seems laughingly simple and unbelievable all at once — how could that be possible? Walking down Commonwealth Avenue gives you that small campus feel — running into people you met years ago, passing previous professors and past flings. At the same time, you’re reminded of how big it is when you’re facing the voracious crowds at the George Sherman Union. When all the tables are filled and you recognize no one, BU’s 32,000 plus students can feel overwhelming.

Something I like to call the “FitRec curse” might fall upon you — it’s the curse that you always seem to run into the people you’re trying to avoid. Being a senior means that inevitably,  this is going to happen less frequently, but it doesn’t mean I have been able to escape it. Coming back to campus brings back a lot of memories — some welcome and some not. These memories always bring up the tricky and sticky subject of history.

Although maybe it’s not as stressful for other people as it is for me, I believe no one can ever be truly prepared for seeing someone they had a history with. Perhaps most people are able to brush it off, but I’m not one of those people. When I turn a corner and come face to face with an ex-beau, my legs turn to Jell-O and all the blood rushes from my face. I can’t control my physical reaction. There’s still an ex lingering around campus that I haven’t seen for months, but I have a feeling that if I saw him, I’d still have to fight the urge to punch in the face.

Although I wish I could achieve anonymity at school, the reality of having a three-plus year history here means that all of this is inevitable. The best thing any of us can do is take these things in stride. If you were hurt by someone you still see, or maybe even have a class with, it’s still going to hurt. Although it sometimes may seem contrived, time is the best healer. Know yourself, and take the time you need to heal.

Coming back to school isn’t all about embarrassingly running into people you don’t want to see, though. It’s about seeing friends who live in different corners of the country and the world. It’s the shrill sound I inevitably make when I’m reunited with my friends.

Each semester, it is important to surround yourself with people who care about you, people who make an active effort to be a part of your life. The people that you hung around freshman year might not be the ones you still see your senior year. Friends move on to different groups, people leave school or graduate or move away, and there’s very little you can do, except to try and make the best of it.

For those moving in and starting class for the first time, enjoy the process of getting to know people. Understand that it takes time to make friends, many of them will come and go. It’s important to find those people that share similar values to you, those who respect you and don’t pressure you. Finding the right group of people can feel like coming home. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but every time I see my friends, I am overcome with feelings of unabashed love for them. Having that support system to either hype you up or give you a reality check, whichever you need at the time, makes all the difference. Romantic relationships aren’t devalued, but nothing beats having the safety net and support system of friends.

Above all, as I have preached in previous columns, the most important relationship you have is with yourself. Going into the semester and keeping a good head on your shoulders can be hard. Asking for help when you need it can also be hard. It’s important to take every day as is comes, and enjoy the whole process. Take the care that you need to take, and make sure your friends take care of each other. You’re going to want a good group of friends to yell about running into an ex with.