Now that school has started again, most people are still in the free trial phase of their New Year’s resolutions. And most New Year’s resolutions are concerned with health in some way. While meatheads are striving to lift the weight of an elephant, the normal people among us are signing up for a gym membership.
When I got back to school, I tried looking for signs of these resolutions in action. I saw a few yoga mats, more people running and less people smoking actual cigarettes.
Most people would chalk this up to the unsympathetic Boston winter. As a former cigarette smoker, I can tell you that the cold doesn’t suppress nicotine cravings. I have personally ventured out into sub-zero temperatures for five minutes of that sweet tobacco.
Instead of cigarettes, I kept seeing these little wafer cookie-looking vapes. I had seen a few of them before the break — inside Mugar Library of all places — but once I got back, I began seeing tons of them.
I learned these devices were called Juuls. With tons of vapes ranging from long, skinny electronic tubes to giant Transformer, phallus-shaped boxes, it was surprising to see this new vape taking over the college campus.
But then I actually thought about it. The cigarette is largely stigmatized because of grave consequences like lung cancer, but most college students are still seeking a stress reliever. Thus, vapes are often marketed as a smoking alternative.
Early vapes were e-cigarettes used to help people quit smoking. The point of the e-cigarette was to make you realize how stupid it is to be smoking this awkwardly shaped tube and, in turn, help you quit smoking real cigarettes. Turns out the guilt trip didn’t work! Who would have thought that people wouldn’t want to quit smoking an electronic tube that allows them to smoke indoors, get their daily nicotine, and not reek of cigarette smoke?
In addition, most vape cartridges last longer than a pack of cigarettes, and some even taste good. Though I can never understand why someone would want to smoke an apple pie, maybe that’s just me.
Whenever an article is written about a recent cultural trend or fad, the article always seems to be about two months late. The article almost always has some generational warfare going on between the lines. To be honest, it is uncool to write about recent trends. By giving the fad publicity, the writer is taking away some of the cool factor. Reading about something is never as cool as doing it. The writer is also taking the timing of the trend and translating it into a two-dimensional prosaic dissertation.
So why am I being uncool and writing about Juuls? Well, I worry people think they are a healthy alternative to smoking. The only recent cultural trend that are healthier than smoking Juuls are eating Tide pods.
To be completely honest, Juuls look cool. I can’t deny that no matter how much I want to dissuade people from using them. There is a reason cigarette smoking is so prevalent — it looks so chic.
However, after a few years, nicotine dependence starts to damper your aesthetic. You end up needing to consume more and more to get even a light buzz. You won’t stop thinking about it. Your day will become one long smoke break with a few inconveniences like work and class in between.
You end up rationalizing your irrational behavior, thinking along the lines of “I don’t drink as much to compensate” or “I walk everywhere, so my lungs are fine.” You might not jump into a volcano for your precious cigarettes, but you will do a lot for them — including going out during blizzards and running two miles in 90 degree weather to buy them. Even when you quit, you’ll never be the same.
Sadly, there hasn’t been enough research on the physical effects of the chemicals in vaporizers. In the studies I read online, the findings were vague. The main chemical in the vapor was deemed “generally safe,” but more research needs to be done on the effects of vaping.
I always thought that healthier smoking was an oxymoron. While the basic chemicals have changed, the game is still the same. If quitting smoking was your New Year’s resolution, my advice is to cut down slowly and have your friends and family help you.
For the rest of you people trying to get me to join in on your New Year’s resolutions, I will not join your cult. We can be friends again in two weeks once you give up.
