American Protest: The importance of #WhyIDidntReport

This past year has been a whirlwind of hashtags, marches, chants and most importantly, sexual assault reports that have been kept hidden from the world by the victims themselves for years, and sometimes even decades.

Coming forward as a victim of sexual assault, while more widely encouraged in today’s day and age, is not any easier than it has been in the past. In fact, with more and more women gaining the courage to come forward, the process is much more difficult in some ways.

Many women face ridicule and accusations of being liars or fabricating stories for attention. Some even defend the rapist — even if there is certainty that he is correctly accused — because he was young or did not know it was wrong.

These arguments all come back into the spotlight with the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh having recently been accused of sexual assaulting Deborah Ramirez when he was a freshman at Yale.  

I was surprised by the outpouring of support I saw on social media with #WhyIDidntReport.

Most of the criticism toward Ramirez was with the question, “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

In fact, many rape and sexual assault survivors are asked this question, including the women who stood up against Bill Cosby, Larry Nassar, Johnny Depp, Harvey Weinstein and so on.

Yes, the evergrowing list of public figures who turn out to be very bad men is disheartening. However, seeing these survivors come together and draw up the courage they have been struggling with for what can be decades is extremely inspiring.

And so, the question, “Why did they not report sooner?” should not even be circulating. To come under public scrutiny can be uncomfortable, and to do so while also sharing past trauma and accusing a beloved person to be the cause of that trauma must be downright terrifying.

It is no wonder that these women kept quiet. Most of the time, the victim is questioned like they themselves are the abuser, which does nothing to help the trauma that they have been forced to endure.

Even if the person was not in the public spotlight at the time, like Kavanaugh and Ramirez, reporting a sexual assault is still extremely nerve-wracking and very difficult to do.

First of all, the victim has to come to terms with what has happened, and in the case of rape and sexual assault, many victims will try to forget it happened or feel far too violated to ever speak of it.

Additionally, when it happens on campus — like Ramirez’s case — there is a whole other layer added. Campus rape is a national issue that universities are notoriously bad at handling. It is a commonly known fact that one in five women are sexually assaulted during college.

Yet, when it is reported, oftentimes the victim is questioned about whether she was drinking or what she was wearing or if she had initially said yes — you can see why interrogations like this would deter one from coming forward.

The fact that their rapist is on campus as well may deter them, because they could face ridicule from their peers for accusing their friend or be intimidated into silence. Regardless of what the reason is, a rape should not be invalidated because it took a woman some time to come forward.

As more and more come forward these days, I have faith that we are building strength and courage within the community of victims. It makes me believe that if we continue to support each other, they can get rid of their fear and call for the justice they deserve.

Sometimes I have days where I wonder if we will ever live in a world where men realize that women are not objects that they can do whatever they want with whenever they want to. Sometimes I lose hope.

Every time I see a woman come forward and demand she be heard, though, I realize we will get there someday. We are making gains in this battle every single day. Until we are free from a world of abusers, we should never ask why she did not come forward sooner.