Every now and then, we feel a strike of powerful inspiration that makes us believe we can do anything. Maybe it comes from the classic cliche, “You can do anything you set your mind to,” or maybe, “Anything is possible.” Whatever the reason, we sometimes try to skip a bunch of necessary steps toward the fulfillment of our wildest dreams, caught up in the excitement.
For example, in eighth grade, my teacher offered us the chance to get extra credit if we got our research papers published. She told us about writing for the school newspaper, online opportunities for middle schoolers and high schoolers, and writing to the editor of our local, small-town paper. My first thought was to skip all of these very logical and reasonable ideas and go straight to the top: The New York Times. A momentary desire for such profound success suppressed all my thoughts of reason.
Crazily enough, my eighth grade research paper on nuclear energy did not end up in The New York Times. I don’t even think I knew how to submit such an absurd request, and I certainly wasn’t willing to put in the work to actually try. Every now and then, our dreams are excessive and glory-driven, quickly dissolved by the not-so-glamorous reality of hard work.
It is easy to imagine the final moment of fame: the awards, honors and validation of our achievements — Olympic medals, Oscars, Grammys, New York Times publications. Such accomplishments are what we recognize as the most obvious form of success. As a result, we might crave the most specific, widely known achievements and feel discouraged when we fall short.
For instance, after watching tons of theater-worthy films, we might feel inspired to make a movie of our own. And when it doesn’t match the quality of those with million-dollar budgets, we feel inferior. After reading our favorite novels, we might try and write our own, but get so frustrated with our perceived lack of creativity or discipline that we quit almost instantly. Intimidation can be incredibly defeating. And we are constantly exposed to it.
Intimidation often comes out of a feeling of personal insecurity, especially when surrounded by those who appear to know exactly what they’re doing. The combination of a lack of confidence in our own abilities and the belief that others have superior skills often causes us to feel intimidated. Whether it’s the beginning of a new job, a difficult project for a class, or even a personal hobby, we compare our work to the work of others. Considering that we tend to be much harder on ourselves, the feeling that “we can do anything” is often rare. We walk in with unrealistically high expectations and a heightened awareness of our flaws, and we walk out feeling defeated.
However, feeling defeated on your own accord is different than someone intentionally trying to undermine you. There are people who use judgement and mockery in an attempt to elevate themselves. When you’re already concerned that your project is terrible and you will never improve enough to create something you’re truly proud of, this can be especially dangerous to your confidence. If you and others are both actively routing against your own happiness, it is easy to become consumed in overwhelming feelings of incompetence. It is then that it’s easiest to give up on our passions.
Even though cliches might be misleading, and dreams might change, there is a lot of value in having aspirations. But to see results, you have to be aware of the steps it takes to get there. And you have to let go of the obsession with what others think about you just long enough to do so. I can’t say I have any personal experience to base this on, but somewhere in that mindset — I just know — lies the path to winning a Grammy. Or the emotional equivalent of one.
