In elementary school, I used to trade my granola bars for the Welch’s fruit snacks my neighbor always had. When I got home, I would dump the gummies into a bunny jar I had in my room, safely hidden away from my mother. Finally, I could indulge in excess and in peace.
When I look back on this, it makes me laugh. It is completely ridiculous, but also a simultaneous moment of innocence and rebellion. But when I really think back to this moment, I remember that it was layered with guilt and shame. I wanted these fruit snacks so badly I made them a secret.
Even as I ate a delicious mass of corn syrup shaped like a peach, I felt ashamed, and I knew I was wrong to foster such a powerful, overwhelming secret. Crazy as it sounds, this period of my life was a bit of a low point.
And when I look back at high school, I remember the glamorous moments. I know there were a lot of difficult experiences, challenging classes and simply times of annoyance, but I can’t recall the details.
It was rough, I know, but when I think back, I forget the details of those rough times. My nostalgic appreciation pushes me to focus on the highlights, the things I once took for granted and the things I miss the most.
I know I’m a nostalgic person. I think we all are, to a certain extent. Nostalgia is a reflection of happy memories that induces sentiment. Nostalgia is revisiting your favorite childhood restaurant and ordering your usual.
It is remembering a funny memory from years ago. It is opening a forgotten drawer and finding an old photograph of your third-grade class along with your Silly Band collection. Nostalgia is the appreciation of the past. It is comfortable, cheesy and oh-so wonderful.
But in reality, we are biased about our past because it is familiar, easy to understand and — most importantly — finished. It is easy to appreciate something we already have figured out and don’t have to deal with anymore. Whether or not it was a good experience, it’s a relief to be resolved.
There are no surprises. However, we can get so caught up in the comfort of the past we forget to appreciate what’s happening right now. As a result, we assume things were better then, frightened by the unfamiliarity and wishing we could return to a predictable time.
Nostalgia places a shining film of glamour over the not-so-glamorous. When I was five, I remember staring up at the biggest TV screen in the world right in my living room. I found it again years later.
It was small, old and outdated. Not like I remember it. Good memories age well. As we continue to think back on the past, we slowly add glorified details to our stories and dramatize feelings that never existed.
Nostalgia blurs and warps the past but makes us appreciate moments in a way that can only come from distance. It’s hard to idolize the present but easy to fondly look back on a time you’ve moved on from.
There should be a balance between past and present appreciation. We need to learn to be more realistic in our memories as we desperately long for the past and remember that we struggled then just as we do now.
It’s just hard to recall those challenges when you have already gotten past them and can see the whole picture. But it is also important to value nostalgia and appreciate the sense of fulfillment and happiness it gives us. After all, it has the power to morph the shame of hoarding Welch’s fruit snacks into an entertaining memory.
