Dear Abby, I saw two people making out in the hallways of CAS the other day and I’m beside myself! It was just a crazy sight. I need to know, how much PDA do you think is too much and what’s really acceptable?
They say love knows no bounds, but when it comes to public displays of affection — or PDA — some self-control can go a long way. It’s all about striking the balance between affection and respect.
Let’s be real: who doesn’t love a small public display of affection? A sweet peck on the cheek, holding hands while walking side by side — when your heart beats for someone — it’s only natural to want to share a little love with the world, right?
But as with anything, there’s a time and place. We’ve all had a good chuckle at the couple who’s practically glued to each other in an amusement park line or the duo making out in the school hallway. It’s cute — in theory. But let’s be honest, there’s a point where it crosses into “uh, can you save that for later?”
And yet, do we really want to live in a world where affection is hidden behind closed doors? The more I thought about finding this equilibrium, I couldn’t help but wonder: how much is too much PDA?
Pucker up
Remember singing the “sitting in a tree” rhyme you’d hear as a kid? You’d get to the K-I-S-S-I-N-G part, and suddenly a chorus of “ewwwws!” would erupt, making you want to crawl under a rock. Fast forward a few years, and that same kiss isn’t so cringe-worthy anymore — in fact, it can feel downright magical.
But here’s the thing: a little bit of shame might still be worth holding on to. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving your partner a peck on the hand, a gentle kiss on the cheek or even a forehead smooch in a public place. But let’s be real — some things are meant for the privacy of your own space.
Now you’re probably wondering: what about a kiss on the lips? In my book, I would say that depends!
I don’t mind a quick little kiss on the lips if it’s more endearing than passionate. It can be sweet, and the only people really judging you are those who are jealous. But it might get a bit weird if you do it in a setting like a classroom or in a small social group.
Holding hands
The Beatles had it right when they sang, “I want to hold your hand.” Really is there any form of PDA more sweet?
Hand-holding, in its simplicity, remains one of the most genuine and understated forms of public affection. It allows couples to convey connection and intimacy without overwhelming those around them, offering a subtle yet powerful display of affection.
Touch, in its many forms, communicates emotions and thoughts that words often cannot. Whether it’s the warmth of a hand gently held or the reassuring squeeze of fingers, this physical connection fosters closeness and can evoke a deep emotional response. It’s a quiet but meaningful way to show your partner that you care, without the need for grand gestures.
Whether strolling down a busy street or quietly sharing a moment over dinner, hand-holding is universally accepted as a tender yet acceptable display of affection. It’s intimate without being intrusive. However, it’s important to remember that while holding hands can be a sweet and innocent act, there are some boundaries to maintain that might unintentionally draw attention or discomfort.
Cuddling
On the topic of touch, let’s talk about cuddling. Have you ever been out with a couple that just can’t seem to separate? The ones who seem to be on top of each other in every sense of the word.
Maybe it’s the constant leg rubbing or that they always magically find a way onto each other’s lap. It can be like watching a live-action rom-com in the middle of a crowded room — and you have to admit it can be a little awkward.
While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sharing affection with your partner, there is such a thing as “too close for comfort.” A good rule of thumb? Hand placement is everything. If you’re at a party or hanging out with friends, keep it PG. No one’s telling you to keep a 10-foot distance, but excessive playfulness in public can sometimes make others feel like they’ve been accidentally cast in the role of the unwitting third wheel.
Even in the most loving relationships, respecting that bubble is key. I personally find that affection is best enjoyed with a little room to breathe.
My point
It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of love and forget to keep a little bit of that single-person perspective.
Take a second and imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes. Sure, it might not be any of your business, but would you really want to see two strangers locking lips in the hallway of the College of Arts and Sciences? Love is beautiful, but let’s not turn the hallway into a romantic obstacle course.
Be mindful of others’ space. Think about how uncomfortable it might make people feel to witness an act of intimacy in a very public setting. Sure, love knows no bounds, but maybe PDA can have a few boundaries. Like I always say, there’s a time and place for everything.
