“What’s your dream career?” “What you’re studying must be thrilling.” “Are you passionate about it?”
Every time I come home for a break, my grandma asks me these questions, and every time, I freeze. I give a polite smile and a vague answer. Because the truth is, I don’t have a dream career — I never have.
For a long time, I thought that was a problem. You know what they say — find what you love, then turn it into a career and you’ll never work a day in your life.
But what if you don’t have that one thing? What if nothing lights you up the way people say it should?
I’m curious about a lot but not passionate.
People assume I love what I do because I get straight A’s, and I push myself academically. But I don’t do it out of passion — I do it because I like knowing I can. I like proving to myself that I can take on the challenge and that I can achieve something difficult.
I find myself diving into one tough academic path after another. My mom jokes that I’m addicted to making my life hard — and maybe she’s right.
I’m sure a lot of you overachievers can relate to some extent.
So, if I don’t have passion, what keeps me going? The little — or not-so-little —indulgences: retail therapy, my Saturday morning Hot Pilates class — while wearing my matching baby pink set from Lululemon, of course — or sipping my overpriced matcha while reading a good book.
The activity that brings me to the ultimate state of enlightenment? Wandering through St-Germain-des-Prés during my cherished breaks of rest and relaxation in Paris. That’s what makes me happy — not the idea of waking up every morning ready to throw myself into my life’s purpose.
But I do look up to people, like my mom, who have found something they truly believe in. She seems to have a clear sense of purpose and her work just makes sense to who she is and what she values.
Sometimes, I wonder, where’s mine? But then I ask myself — if I found my passion, would I even want to make a living from it? Every topic I’ve loved and then pursued in school, I’ve eventually grown to hate.
Maybe it’s better this way.
I’m not even 20 yet, so I have time. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find an obscure passion when I turn 50 and won’t even see it coming.
But sometimes, I feel like the elephant in the room in my classes full of pre-med students who vibrate every time they see a neuron. Their passion is contagious, and they seem so excited about their future careers — which makes me wonder if I’m missing something.
Although it seems like everyone around me really loves what they do, maybe I’m just focusing on what I lack.
It feels almost shallow and taboo to admit that you’re wandering through college with no real drive — just achieving mindlessly. But when I opened up to some friends recently, I realized I was not alone.
So, I’ve started shifting my mindset, and I encourage you to do the same if you feel the way that I do.
Instead of searching for the thing I’m meant to do, I focus on something that allows me to afford the lifestyle that makes me content. Some might call that realistic, others might call it pessimistic — but to me, it just feels practical.
Maybe, at the end of the day, I have to make peace with the fact that I’m just not the type of person who would choose passion over security. If you look at the successful adults around you, a lot of them probably went that same way — and guess what? They ended up just fine.
What I’m getting at is that we don’t all need to be that person. You know: The one who wakes up every day with a smile on their face, devoting their time and energy to a great cause that they fully believe in.
So, if you’re wondering why you’re not passionately running toward some altruistic mission or a burning creative project, that’s more than okay.
There is truly no timeline for passion, and that’s the best thing about it. What if you find your passion later in life and start making a living selling rare seashells? Stranger things have happened, right?
Until then, try to list all the little things that bring you comfort and light every day, and find ways to implement them into your life.
At the end of the day, maybe your passion could simply be creating a life that feels agreeable to you, and that doesn’t have to take place in your career.
