Columns, Opinion

HAGEN: Swallowing your misteaks

For the past week the big tissue on campus has been the Student Union Erections and it is impotent for all Boston University students to vote in order to make their vices heard. It is amazing how a few typos can really change the meaning of a sentence. As much as I am sure you would like to learn what a “Student Union Erection” is, one of those words obviously does not belong. Typos are one of the greatest fears of the writing world, and as a columnist, I live in constant dread that a wrong keystroke could lead to the shameful loss of all my hard-earned credibility. Well, I guess I actually need to have credibility in the first place in order to lose it, but I presume that seeing your journalistic integrity flushed down the toilet because you wrote an article about President Osama would be pretty embarrassing.

The Australian branch of the Penguin publishing house learned this the hard way when they were forced to recall recently released cookbook “The Pasta Bible” last week. A recipe for a delicious tagliatelle dish included the unconventional ingredient of “salt and ground black people.” The company has since apologized profusely, stating “pepper,” not “people,” was the actual word they had intended to use. Given the fact that Penguin is not owned by recently outed neo-nazi Jesse James, it probably was just an embarrassing typo and nothing more. Also, any fine chef knows human flesh really compliments the texture of rigatoni noodles much better.

Since a few misspelled words can completely ruin an entire piece of work, editors must be scrupulous while examining pieces of writing. Despite their best efforts, a few mistakes always slip through, and there is a very colorful history surrounding typos and miswritten words. I have compiled a list of a few interesting lexis snafus throughout history, some of which managed to slip through and some of which were discovered and corrected in the lick of lime nick of time.

“The Pasta Bible” is not the only bible with a significant typo. The original Bible is one of the earliest documents to suffer a misspelling. Paul is the author who is most often credited with encouraging celibacy in his biblical scriptures. Perhaps he was too embarrassed to admit he meant priests were suppose to just have a good time and celebrate, not be celibate, but let me tell you, that mistake has caused the Catholic Church quite a headache lately. While on the subject of historical papers, Americans are lucky our founding fathers were careful when writing their own manifestos. One slip of the quill and we could be living in a democrazy not a democracy! Imagine how wild that would have been. All I know is if that were the case, the communists probably would have won. Close call.

Potential meaning-altering typos abound here at our own Boston University as well. The school’s dignified motto boasts key merits which the university’s founders believed were important to the students. The words “Learning, Virtue and Piety” are emblazoned around the university’s great seal. Little-known fact, however, is that the school came close to being far more delicious when the motto was originally copied down as “Learning, Virtue and Pie.” Yum. It would have certainly been the tastiest $53,000 slice in which I’d ever indulged. Speaking of that $53,000 price tag, I checked, hoping there was a typo in that the 3 and the 5 should be switched. My conclusion? Sorry, Mom and Dad. You’re doing a “heck of a job, Brownie” &- er, I mean, President Robert Brown. OK, that was a Freudian slip, not a typo.

Imagine what a different academic environment we would be in if the administration and faculty were to accidentally substitute the “in” for “de” when it came to grade deflation. It would be just as if we went to Harvard University. A-pluses for everyone! The strangest typo I have come across in BU’s history is that there was originally a section of campus referred to as the BU “narrow-strip-of-green-inhabited-by-ugly-statues-and-next-to-a-busy-four-lane-highway.” Apparently someone accidentally replaced that second word with much less accurately descriptive “beach.” Well, despite the mistake, I guess the BU “beach” sounds snazzier on tours.

It turns out that mortification is not the only consequence for the Penguin Publishing house, and their recipe gaffe will cost them close to $20,000 in order to reprint new copies of the cookbook. For most people, typos simply lead to embarrassment, or in my case, offending as many people as possible as I did when in a mass email I meant to send my regards, but instead sent my reta­­&-&- well, I think you get the point.

It is always important to double-check what you’re writing, even if it is simply your Facebook status. You may be exited your freind is coming to visit but trust me, you just made yourself look like a pretty big idot.

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