Aspiring authors, here’s a tip: drop out of college. Burn your D.A.R.E diplomas and scrub those Sharpie’d “X”s off of your collective hands; waking up in a drug induced stupor or boozing yourself into a cirrhotic state will now guarantee placement upon the New York Times Best Seller List.

Taking a drink from James Frey’s A Million Little Pieces cup is Tucker Max, the man who shouts obscenities, engages in heavy petting, drinks until he can’t surf his own website (the now infamous TuckerMax.com) … and then writes a book about it. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell is Max’s homage to an undergrad/graduate career in which the only courses he attended were taught by Jack Daniels, with guest lecturer Jim Bean speaking in classrooms that look strikingly, through beer goggles, like a Chicago bar or Duke Law dormitory.

More a bar tab than a book, Max manages to remember 265 pages worth of his sordid, alcohol-soaked episodes that would make the boys of Animal House cringe. To create the archetypal “Tucker Max Story,” combine the eloquence of Johnny Knoxville, the inflated ego of Casanova, the etiquette of Stifler and a dash of misogyny — shaken, (he must have been, as a baby) not stirred.

The book, a collection of Tucker’s misadventures, begins with “The Famous Sushi Pants Story” and then leads the reader, now absorbed simply because he cannot believe Tucker Max is still living as a free man, down what in medical jargon can only be considered the path of ethanol insanity. As you turn the pages, note a strange tingling sensation as the purity of your soul exits your body and your Blood Alcohol Concentration rises. Max, a booze vampire, comes out of his debauched lair somewhere between midnight and last call, wreaking havoc in every gin-joint he enters. He reduces women to tears with lude, leering comments and is proud of “sleep[ing] with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act[ing] like a raging [expletive deleted].”

Still, you read on. Why? Because Tucker Max — and his book — is like that boisterous, obnoxious heathen hanging off of every porch at every college party: he is entertaining, for a time. But, keg of Natty Light and comedian alike, such watered down amusement loses its novelty quickly: I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell ferments at about chapter five. Save your $12.95 and go have a drink.

Tucker Max will be appearing at a book signing in Boston on Feb. 18. Details are available at his website, www.tuckermax.com.